It's almost a sad feeling. This final reporting from the track. Last week, I completed the Yasso 800s cycle. The week before I completed 12 repeats of 400 meters, a plan culled from a Running Times article. The idea last night was high intensity at low intervals. Step up from 400 meters to 1,600 meters (a first) and then step back down. Here is the statistical rundown:
Intervals:2 x 400 meters, 2 x 800 meters, 1 x 1,600 meters
Goal pace(s): Sub-1:45, sub-3:35 and sub-7:40, respectively
Lap 1: 400 meters, 1:42.44 (6:50 per mile)
Lap 2: 800 meters, 3:28.29 (6:58 per mile)
Lap 3: 1,600 meters, 7:05.98
Lap 4: 800 meters, 3:32.72 (7:06 per mile)
Lap 5: 400 meters, 1:37.37 (6:30 per mile)
Average pace: 4,000 meters, 17:26.8 (7:01 per mile)
Total distance: 5.5 miles
[Drunkard's note: Total distance includes one mile warm up, 400-meter recovery laps and one mile cool down.]
The intervals were just enough to make my legs feel jiggly like Gloop and Gleep. More than anything I worked up an appetite. Thankfully, a Greek festival was happening around the corner from the track. I followed up my track session with a gyro, fried calamari and ouzo on the rocks. It was better than stretching.
Back Talk Wherein I really wish you people would actually read the words that I don't bother proofreading because then you'd avoid such ridicule. Funnyrunner is oh so hilarious with her extremely long comment about my half marathon and then a second comment with her ludicrous marathon advice: "Hey--I agree with Mike A. above. You can start out with 8:30s and stick to 8-minute-mile pace the entire half. You're capable of it ..."
EVERYTHING LOOKS GREAT today as I ponder the near enough future. I have a solid plan for my upcoming races. My training has been the best it's ever been. My legs feel great. There's a batch of Dogfish HeadPunkin Ale and Bell'sThird Coast in the fridge just awaiting. My favorite season is blowing in from the northwest. The Browns don't suck yet. I've got a guy building me a banjo. Life is good. What could be better than right now?
How about a track session without a FAIL? No such luck. Here is the statistical rundown:
Intervals:10x 800 meters
Goal pace: Sub-3:35 per interval (7:13 per mile)
Fastest Lap (1): 3:16.7 (6:34 per mile)
Slowest Lap (8): 3:39.46 (7:21 per mile) FAIL
Average pace: 3:29.92 (7:00 per mile)
Total distance: 9.2 miles
[Drunkard's note: Total distance includes one mile warm up, 400-meter recovery laps and one mile cool down.]
That one bad lap pisses me right off! When I crossed the line for 800 meters, my only thought was, Why am a coasting already? I passed another runner with about 50 meters to go and acted like that was the interval. Not having enough gas is one thing, but that was just weak.
A Solemn Flashback Today's weather is exactly how it was eight years ago, cloudless and crisp. Nothing ominous about it. I was driving a bus. I had a tape in the deck to avoid annoying morning radio. I got off work at 9 a.m.
I went into the campus library, and one of my old coworkers said, "Did you hear we're at war now?" I had no idea what he was talking about.
I went to my class. The professor sent us home to be with our families. My mom works on campus, so I walked to her office. Then I went to the journalism building, where all the superstar student reporters were in a frenzy. There are only so many times you can watch that TV footage.
I felt like I needed to do something. I called the bus service and asked if they needed help. I went back to where my day started and helped keep the buses running as students left classes and were trying to get back to their cars or dorms.
At one point two military jets roared overhead. I wonder now if they were headed toward Pennsylvania, as there was still that one plane left. It's an empty feeling to remember so well.
Back Talk Wherein like enough serious stuff because you'll get that everywhere today.
Nitmos thinks my half marathon goals need some mental fortitude: "Why not just beat 2 hours to boost your confidence and stop all of this wishy-washy 'couple minutes here, couple minutes there' crap? You did this last year in 1:49! Beat 2 hours. Pocket the confidence. Keep focused on the marathon. Plus, I don't want to read the inevitable 'well, I just missed my half goal by a minute so now I'm not sure about the full marathon goal.' Do it. Best wishes."
Answer: What can I say? Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Unless your broken clock is a Garmin. Then it's just a useless, overpriced ornament with a blank face.
The good news now that you've made it to the bottom of this post is that Happy Hour is upon us. Have a finely brewed weekend and good luck to my fellow racers. (Special shout-out to the biker companion who is running the Buckeye 5-K for the hoodie.) Run well and drink well, teammates. Cheers!
I guess I can't kick your face in with my awesomeness every run. It seems my strong weekend caught up to me at the track, when I felt like I was running through a cement mixer for 12 repeats of 400 meters. This time there was nothing secret about my attempt to run these intervals at sub-1:40. You'll see fewer FAILs at FailBlog.org.
Here's the statistical rundown:
Intervals: 12 x 400 meters
Goal pace: Sub-1:40 per interval (6:42 per mile)
Lap 1: 1:37.47 (6:30 per mile)
Lap 2: 1:39.27 (6:38 per mile)
Lap 3: 1:39.1 (6:38 per mile)
Lap 4: 1:42.56 (6:50 per mile) FAIL
Lap 5: 1:43.76 (6:54 per mile) FAIL
Lap 6: 1:43.03 (6:54 per mile) FAIL
Lap 7: 1:44.4 (6:58 per mile) FAIL
Lap 8: 1:42.81 (6:50 per mile) FAIL
Lap 9: 1:39.5 (6:38 per mile)
Lap 10: 1:42.88 (6:50 per mile) FAIL
Lap 11: 1:46.65 (7:06 per mile) FAIL
Lap 12: 1:42.5 (6:50 per mile) FAIL
Average pace: 1:41.99 (6:46 per mile) FAIL
Total distance: 7.7 miles
[Drunkard's note: Total distance includes one mile warm up, 400-meter recovery laps and one mile cool down.]
Today's lesson? Don't change your goal pace on your last day of 400-meter intervals. Had I kept my goal at 1:45, I'd have had only one failure. Next week is my last high repetition track session, as I aim to complete the Yasso 800 regiment. After that I'll do just enough track work to keep my legs fresh before the marathon.
Back Talk Wherein my readers are apparently too drunk to know what day or month it is.
Al is envious that my state has fewer blue laws than hers: "I'm jealous you could buy beer on Sunday."
Answer: "Last night" for a Tuesday post is actually a Monday, but I can buy beer on Sunday too.
Spike can't hold his Rolling Rock, as he displays some fuzzy math and his anxiety for the fall marathon season to begin: "3 x 3 = 9, you ran 33 extra miles in the 9th month. All this means that you should run your marathon in a Rolling Rock shirt."
Answer: But (33/Pi) x August = the eighth month. Mmm ... Pi.
Happy Hour is nearly upon us, teammates. Have a finely brewed weekend and good luck to all you racers. Run well and drink well. Cheers!
It's official. Last night, I registered for the Buckeye Half Marathon (Sept. 13) and the Akron Marathon (Sept. 26). The race directors are super awesome and offer a discount to those who run both. I just saved $15! But before all that, I hit the track for some 800s. Here is the statistical rundown:
Intervals:9 x 800 meters
Goal pace: Sub-3:45 per interval (7:33 per mile)
Fastest Lap (1): 3:24.41 (6:50 per mile)
Slowest Lap (9): 3:42.97 (7:27 per mile)
Average pace: 3:36.71 (7:15 per mile)
Total distance: 8.5 miles
[Drunkard's note: Total distance includes one mile warm up, 400-meter recovery laps and one mile cool down.]
My secret goal was to run all my intervals at sub-3:40, which netted a FAIL-FAIL on the final two laps, resulting in one of my least favorite occurrences: my final lap was my slowest lap. And similarly annoying was my first lap being my fastest lap. That's like two more FAILs! Oh well.
Back Talk Wherein your advice gets appropriated as my own idea.
Mike at Running Is Funny shows his age-old wisdom when he told me how I should approach the Buckeye Half Marathon: "Forget the time. Run the first five miles as if they were the first five of your marathon. Run the second five at or just under 9:00 pace. Run the last 5-K at your best possible pace and pass as many laggards as you can."
Answer: Mike is wise because I agree with him. This was exactly the idea I came up with last night as I pondered my options. The only missing ingredient was to make sure I attempt the negative split. So, this was mostly exactly my idea.
As I was researching optimal negative split strategies (here and here), I have come to the conclusion that I will start the marathon at 9:21-9:26 per mile for the first 10 miles, speed up to my goal pace at 9-9:10 per mile for the second 10 miles and go all out for the final 10-K. This projects to a half marathon split of 2:01:28-2:02:49 and a 20-mile split of 3:03:30-3:06:00. In this worst case scenario, I would have to cover that final 10-K in 53:59 (8:41 per mile). I can do that.
As this is a half a marathon, I will half my marathon strategy as Mike suggests. I will run the first five miles no slower than 47:10, the second five miles at less than 45:50 (10-mile split: 1:31:45-1:33:00) and kill the final 5-K. I would like to forget about time, but my goal is to break four hours in the marathon. I figure I should break two hours at the half (a little half-wisdom). I need that motivation.
Well, that's enough race obsession for this week. Happy Hour is nearly upon us, teammates. Have a finely brewed weekend and good luck to you racers. Run well and drink well. Cheers!
My legs have that satisfactory twinge of overuse after a weekend full of 28 miles. Friday's two-a-day, Saturday's track and Sunday's long run took its toll. And tonight, I plan on three more miles as recovery. Finally, I'm feeling back on track with my training.
Post Happy Hour Four Friday evening didn't go quite as I had described. After work, I ended up at local favorite The Winking Lizard for dinner, and I couldn't pass up a Franziskaner on draught. I also couldn't pass up the Bleu Shroom Burger, which made for a melodious four-miler afterward. I felt fast, but was woefully slow.
Making Up for Lost Time Bless me, Johnnie, for I have sinned. My last track session was 16 days from Saturday. I had to get back out on the Oval of Doom. The schedule called for 11 repeats of 400 meters. Here is the statistical rundown:
Intervals:11 x 400 meters
Goal pace: Sub-1:45 per interval (7:02 per mile)
Fastest Lap (6): 1:37.37 (6:30 per mile)
Slowest Lap (7): 1:43.9 (6:54 per mile)
Average pace: 1:39.6 (6:38 per mile)
Total distance: 7.2 miles
Technically, no failures, but I was secretly shooting for sub-1:40, which netted FAIL x2. I also had the track to myself for a few laps and ran four of those laps clockwise. Shh ... don't tell the Track Police.
Long Coast on E By the time I got to the 10-mile mark of Sunday's 14-miler, my legs felt empty. I finished with a two-minute positive split on the second half, but averaged 10:07 per mile overall--right in my long run pace zone.
Sunday afternoon seemed like a perfect time to run 14 miles in the summeriest weather yet: 95 degrees and 70 percent humidity. Is that hot enough for you, Jess?
I know I've complained about the heat before, but I swear this time it's warranted. It was so bad I even put on sunscreen. I thought if I just kept it slow enough and kept up with my fluid intake that I'd be fine for 14 miles. My poor biker was weaving just to keep balanced, as I was well above 10 minutes per mile.
My legs never had any bounce. The air I breathed felt like a warm kitchen sponge. My tech tank top was soaked by three miles and removed by five miles. Seven miles in I said, "We're cutting this short." I'm allergic to heat stroke, so the run lasted a plenty-long 10 miles, and took almost two hours to complete. Not my best day, but it was by far the hottest.
Thankfully, this was another step-back week, so I don't feel too broken up about not getting in the week's full mileage.
This weekend: The Summer Un-Solstice Challenge awaits.
Backtrack to My Last Track Last Thursday, as noted, I ran 10 x 400s with the goal of going sub-1:45 for each interval. Sorry, Nitmos, still no failures to report. Ten intervals is way too many to list, so I'll give you the shortened version of the statistical rundown:
Intervals:10 x 400 meters
Goal pace: Sub-1:45 per interval (7:02 per mile)
Fastest Lap (10): 1:31.9 (6:06 per mile)
Slowest Lap (6): 1:40.16 (6:42 per mile)
Average pace: 1:37.2 (6:31 per mile)
Total distance: 6.7 miles
Remembering Why I Hate Treadmills While in New York City this weekend for a wedding, my running was forced into a Days Inn "fitness center," which contained one treadmill, one stationary bike and and one elliptical. If I had to run on a treadmill, I would not be a runner. Why subject yourself to this awful torture?
Six miles felt terrible. I was counting every tenth of a mile. Just getting the infernal thing started was a pain in the ass. My first mile was 11:06, as I was trying to get the settings up to my pace (Incline 2.0, Speed 6.0). After that, I marked 9:48 miles but that first mile pushed me past an hour of just-shoot-me-and-get-it-over-with running.
While taking my morning snort of mouth wash, I leaned against the pedestal sink and paused for a moment before I spat. From my left front pocket I heard a beep.
I had placed my watch in my pocket to take it to work like I do every Friday to enter the stats into my running log. That beep was the sound of seven 800-meter intervals disappearing into the ether. I erased my track session.
Now, I can plausibly deny any accusations of failure. I have a general idea of what I ran, but I won't waste your time with made up stats. Instead, as it is the last day of July and I have no run scheduled today, let's flashback over this month's running.
I didn't miss any scheduled runs, and my overall pacing was pretty solid for each workout. The month included one race, the Davey Tree 10-K, where I set a new PR. August's schedule will smack me in the face right away with a 10-miler on Saturday and my first 20-miler on Sunday.
Back Talk Wherein I continue to aggravate pregnant women and wonder what's so wrong with low mileage.
Pregnant Jess saw my weather report and it did not impress: "So, I'm staring at the weather widget you have in your sidebar, directly adjacent to this comment box, and I am noting that the weather there is reading 78 degrees.
"Dammit, man, that's NOT hot! That's what we set our A/C to here in FL.
"I'll accept your weather bitchin' and moanin' when it's snowy, icy, and cold up there, but when it comes to heat, don't bother mentioning it unless it's in the 90s!"
Answer: Boy howdy, you should have seen how hot it was last night at the track. It was like 76 degrees with 70 percent humidity. My shirt was super sweaty. It totally chafed my nipple.
Answer: Actually, I ran two marathons last year with a peak week of 34 miles. Is that not good?
Happy Hour is nearly upon us, teammates. Have a finely brewed weekend and good luck to all you racers. May your fast twitch muscles twitch faster than your DTs. Run well and drink well. Cheers!
After taking it in the comments last week from some of you, I have readjusted the pacing goals for my weekly track workouts. I was still training with pacing in mind for the 10-K earlier this month. But now it's time to focus on the marathon and my four-hour goal.
I will now shoot for 1:45 or less per 400 meters instead of 1:40. And when I do 800-meter repeats next week, I will shoot for 3:35 or less instead of 3:25, which would have only meant a 50-percent FAIL had I made this adjustment last Thursday. Let's see how my new pace goals panned out for me.
And now the statistical rundown:
Intervals:9 x 400 meters
Goal pace: Sub-1:45 per interval (7:02 per mile)
Lap 1: 1:38.33 (6:34 per mile)
Lap 2: 1:41.18 (6:46 per mile)
Lap 3: 1:42.14 (6:50 per mile)
Lap 4: 1:36.35 (6:26 per mile)
Lap 5: 1:35.94 (6:22 per mile)
Lap 6: 1:45.77 (7:02 per mile)
Lap 7: 1:42.28 (6:50 per mile)
Lap 8: 1:46.33 (7:06 per mile) FAIL
Lap 9: 1:42.9 (6:50 per mile)
Average pace: 1:41.25 (6:46 per mile)
Total distance: 6.2 miles
[Drunkard's note: Total distance includes one mile warm up, 400-meter recovery laps and one mile cool down.]
Sorry, Nitmos, just one this week. Here's the monumental link again for your viewing pleasure.
Back Talk Wherein apparently we have to review the material we've already covered this year.
Answer: 1) Actually my cyclist supporter will be there on race day, just not following me on a bike, 2) I will also have my usual cheering section(s), 3) I will have about 10,000 fellow runners to keep me company throughout the race, 4) I will have great crowd support as Akron does a great job cheering on the marathoners, and 5) my previous experience at this race should help.
Funnyrunner and Morgan are so unfashionably late to the party in their questioning of my running without socks and having to groom my blisters.
Last night's track session was eerily similar to last year's track session. Unfortunately, that means my 800-meter intervals were 16 seconds slower than my last batch of 800s. Can you say ...
Even though I got to the track later than usual to avoid that pesky youth track team, the heat was still brutal. My warm-up mile had me sweating like an August sow. My feet felt especially hot (and heavy). I knew right away that it was going to be long evening.
My delayed start also meant I'd get hungry, so I ate some peanut butter and honey toast as soon as I got home from work. After my third interval, I felt like I was going to shart. The whole time I felt like I was stuck in gear, unable to find my kick.
And now the statistical rundown:
Intervals:6 x 800 meters
Goal pace: 3:25 or less per interval (6:52 per mile)
Lap 1: 3:19.98 (6:40 per mile)
Lap 2: 3:31.28 (7:04 per mile) FAIL
Lap 3: 3:31.08 (7:04 per mile) FAIL
Lap 4: 3:46.39 (7:35 per mile)FAIL
Lap 5: 3:43.45 (7:29 per mile) FAIL
Lap 6: 3:46.88 (7:35 per mile) FAIL
Average pace: 3:36.67 (7:15 per mile)
BOTTOM LINE FAIL
Total distance: 6.2 miles
[Drunkard's note: Total distance includes one mile warm up, 400-meter recovery laps and one mile cool down.]
Brutal. However, I usually have at least one terrible run the week before my step-back week. Usually, it's the long run (i.e., my awful 12-miler a few weeks back). I hope the bad run just came early, or this weekend's nine-miler and/or 18-miler will suck.
Back Talk Wherein I comment on my readers' comments.
Idiot Nitmos finds exception to my Five-Second Rule and the caveat of always passing on the left (and Jess agrees with him): "Sorry, if you have to pass on the right, the person sitting on the left is the dick doing the dick move. If you are slow, GET RIGHT, then you won't HAVE to be passed on the right."
Answer: Only if you followed the rule of notifying the slowpoke that you're passing. If you say, "On your left," and the person stays left, then by all means pass the dick on the right. Otherwise -- and regardless -- you remain an idiot. (So what does that make someone who agrees with an idiot?)
Happy Hour is nearly upon us, teammates. Have a finely brewed weekend and good luck to all you racers. Run well and drink well. Cheers!
Team BHI apologizes for the unannounced outage on Flashback Friday, a day you so anxiously await. However, my services were needed elsewhere.
Coincidentally, my Thursday track session provided perfect fodder for a flashback, and so you will get it today. Rest easy, fans of failure. There are some lowlights ahead just for you.
I have returned to using a track I ran at for most of last year, and that return has meant seeing some old friends. The past two Thursdays, I have had to share the lanes with a youth track team, a rather varied team that ranges from I'd guess 7 to 13 years old. And it's the same coaches who specialize in cluttering the open lanes and inspiring vituperate rants from this runner.
Thursday's schedule called for eight repeats of 400 meters at sub-1:40 (6:42 per mile). The track team was running short repeats on the first curve in lanes 1-5, and some other kids who seemed to just be watching milled about the other lanes. There were also a lot of walkers using the track. The crowded lanes and hot sun made for a particularly draining workout.
My first five intervals probably looked more like sine waves than laps around a track. As I started my intervals in Lane 5, I had to swing wide around the team and then swing back in to avoid the other people using the outer lanes. I torched the first 400 and managed to hit my pace on the first three repeats.
But then, I started to falter. I grew tired and hot. My recovery laps became slower and slower, and my water breaks lasted longer. The team's practice seemed to draw to an end, as the kids ran cool-down drills in the infield. Two of the of my last three intervals were on pace, for an overall average of 1:38.5 per 400 meters (6:34 per mile). Considering the crowd and heat, I'll take it.
And now the statistical rundown:
Intervals:8 x 400 meters
Goal pace: Sub-1:40 per interval (6:42 per mile)
Lap 1: 1:28.81 (5:54 per mile)
Lap 2: 1:38.25 (6:34 per mile)
Lap 3: 1:36.06 (6:26 per mile)
Lap 4: 1:43.31 (6:54 per mile) FAIL
Lap 5: 1:43.06 (6:54 per mile) FAIL
Lap 6: 1:39.05 (6:38 per mile)
Lap 7: 1:41.78 (6:46 per mile) FAIL
Lap 8: 1:37.72 (6:30 per mile)
Average pace: 1:38.5 (6:34 per mile)
Total distance: 5.7 miles
[Drunkard's note: Total distance includes one mile warm up, 400-meter recovery laps and one mile cool down.]
I think I'll try arriving at the track later, to avoid the bulk of the track team's practice. Since I'm seeing my old track friends, perhaps this week I'll run into a certain crimson crusader.
Weekend Restart The remainder of my weekend consisted of an eight-miler at marathon race pace on Saturday and a 16-miler on Sunday. I pretended to be smart and carried my water bottle on both runs and mowed down more Jolly Ranchers during my long run. I ran at 9:06 per mile on Saturday and 9:32 per mile on Sunday -- pretty solid for me. I have felt good these past two weekends, as my mileage has continued to climb. Today will be a welcome recovery run.
I hope you all ran well and drank well this weekend. Cheers!
The holiday weekend contained too much to blog about, so I'll save you from an overindulgent race report of the Davey Tree 10-K and give you just the facts, ma'am.
If you really need a detailed report of the race, read this and this. Just know I did it.
Flashback to last week's flashforward, and here is how this weekend's events unfolded ...
Track Attack Thursday evening, I visited the track -- a different track than I have been using of late. A better marked track too. This time, I could clearly understand the hitherto cryptic lines telling me where to start my 800-meter intervals when Lane 1 was occupied.
And now the statistical rundown:
Intervals:5 x 800 meters
Goal pace: 3:25 or less per interval (6:52 per mile)
Lap 1: 3:15.04 (6:32 per mile)
Lap 2: 3:24.07 (6:50 per mile)
Lap 3: 3:22.03 (6:46 per mile)
Lap 4: 3:20.34 (6:42 per mile)
Lap 5: 3:21.79 (6:44 per mile)
Average pace: 3:20.65 (6:42 per mile)
Total distance: 5.5 miles
[Drunkard's note: Total distance includes one mile warm up, 400-meter recovery laps and one mile cool down.]
Seeking the White Whale Mission accomplished. I ran the Davey Tree 10-K in less than 50 minutes. Results were not posted as off press time. My watch said 49:01, and the timer called out 49 flat. Of course, I'm not satisfied. I could have done better.
Like an idiot, I ran too close to Martini for the first mile and started too fast (7:19). Luckily, I recovered during the second mile. I kicked hard to the finish and approached the Puke Threshold, but my fast recovery after the race tells me I left too much out on the road.
What really irks me is the guy I didn't pass. Nearing the halfway mark, I heard this guy counting all the runners passing in the other direction. The Counter comes from behind to pass me just before the turnaround cone. I hear him pant, "37." I'm on the inside and re-pass him going around the cone, and he says, "38."
The guy was counting his place. I stayed ahead of him for about a quarter-mile, but it was forcing me out of my strategy. So I let him go ahead, to which he replied, "37." He was within view for the rest of the race, but I let him stray too far ahead and couldn't catch him with my kick, which I believe I could have started sooner.
For now, I am happy to have speared my 50-minute 10-K White Whale, but the beast has escaped to the Akron Marathon, where I must run a four-hour race to catch him. Now, the real battle begins.
And then 14 Miles Yes, and then I ran 14 miles the morning after my 10-K PR. A group of three women had the pleasure of my company after they passed me at a road crossing. They couldn't get more than 100 feet ahead of me, but they kept looking back at me as if I were some kind of park-lurking creeper. I didn't have the legs to pass them, but I kept up with them for about five miles before they stopped. Their backward looks seemed to indicate that I was bothering them by being on their tails. I say, if you pass me, it's your job to separate. I'm not slowing down. Thanks for the even pacing, ladies.
Stockpiling Yuengling I still had about half a six-pack of Yuengling Porter left from my birthday, but I got another case of it this weekend to bolster supplies. I was on a road trip to Pittspuke to check out furniture and banjos, but I can't cross into Pennsylvania without making a stop for some good, cheap beer. As a side note, I was drinking Yuengling Porter when I decided to run a marathon.
Crawling to the Next Race Speaking of beer and running, the AkRun 5-K & Pub Crawl has been announced for Aug. 29, and for the first time since it started (maybe just last year) I'll be able to run it. I have a 16-miler planned the day after, but I can't pass up the shirt -- or the beer.
The only FAILs yesterday were my weather forecast and Michael Jackson's heart.
Instead of 86 degrees with 54 percent humidity and a 10 percent chance of rain, I headed to the track in a full-bore thunderstorm and heard on the radio later that the National Weather Service had issued a severe thunderstorm warning. Thanks goodness for all that rain, because I was on FYAH!
Which reminds me again of Michael Jackson. I remember one January day in 1984, when I was just a wee tippler. I was awake begrudgingly early in the morning, listening to the news on the car radio as my parents drove me to the hospital to have my tonsils removed and tubes put in my ears. That was the morning after the King of Pop's hair caught on fire when he was filming a Pepsi commercial. I clearly remember thinking, "I'll be in the hospital the same time as Michael Jackson. Cool."
I don't think he was ever the same after that. There was no way he could top Thriller, and he proved it a few years later when he released Bad. He seemed to just get weirder and weirder. And I'll just leave it at that. I won't speak ill of the dead. R.I.P.
And now the statistical rundown:
Intervals:7 x 400 meters
Goal pace: Sub-1:40 per interval (6:42 per mile)
Lap 1: 1:39.22 (6:38 per mile)
Lap 2: 1:34.72 (6:18 per mile)
Lap 3: 1:35.62 (6:22 per mile)
Lap 4: 1:33.62 (6:14 per mile)
Lap 5: 1:34.82 (6:18 per mile)
Lap 6: 1:24.59 (5:38 per mile) Who's bad?
Lap 7: 1:28.04 (5:54 per mile)
Average pace: 1:32.96 (6:10 per mile)
Total distance: 5.2 miles
[Drunkard's note: Total distance includes one mile warm up, 400-meter recovery laps and one mile cool down.]
As opposed to last week's track and brutal 12-miler, yesterday felt great. I love these redeeming runs. I had to fight through the wind and rain, which was hard and stinging during the third and fourth intervals. But then I got a spectator-induced boost for those final two laps. I laughed at myself when I saw those 1:20s. I guess I like to show off.
Happy Hour is nearly upon us, teammates. Have a finely brewed weekend, and good luck to all you racers. Run well and drink well. Cheers!
I could hear Huey Lewis singing in my head as I loped along slowly back home after an epic defeat at the track. My defeat.
I returned to 800-meter intervals for the first time in a month, when I was running 800s in the 3:45 range. After all my 400s since then, I knew I was faster and ambitiously set my goal at 3:20 per 800. Period, I said.
Seriously?
I cruised around for the first interval, nailing it. But I knew I was in trouble. The next 800 was seven seconds slower. I couldn't control my breath, and it destroyed my pacing. The final two intervals were consistent, but 12 seconds slower than my first.
By the time I finished, I felt as if I had been whisked into the past at 88 miles per hour. What was I, a first-timer? Why wasn't I hitting my times? I gotta get back in time.
My next attempt at 800s will be in two weeks, as I alternate speed work between 400s and 800s. By then, I hope I'm back to the future.
And now the statistical rundown:
Intervals:4 x 800 meters
Goal pace: 3:20 or less per interval (6:42 per mile)
Lap 1: 3:19.1 (6:40 per mile)
Lap 2: 3:26.53 (6:54 per mile) FAIL
Lap 3: 3:31.5 (7:04 per mile)FAIL
Lap 4: 3:31.96 (7:04 per mile) FAIL
Average pace: 6:56 per mile
Total distance: 4.7 miles
[Drunkard's note: Total distance includes one mile warm up, 400-meter recovery laps and one mile cool down.]
This was a rough outing. So what happened?
Perhaps the heat and humidity got to me. Or perhaps the wimpy, but fast two-miler yesterday morning wore on me. Or perhaps I set my speed goal too high. Or perhaps I screwed up my pacing by running the first lap like a 400-meter interval, blowing up my second lap. Running too fast: a typical rookie mistake.
Or I have this theory: I was running too far. The track I typically run at gets a huge puddle at one curve after a rain, which it did in buckets Wednesday. This puddle usually forces me into Lane 4. Not a problem if I'm running 400 meters, because the staggered start and finish lines compensate for the added distance from the inside lane to the outer lanes. However, I did not consider that if I stay in the fourth lane for the second 400 meters and use the same finish line, I am running farther than 800 meters.
Duh. Hello, anybody home?
I probably should have known this prior to yesterday. This is how I ran 800s in the past, sticking to my one lane, not considering the extra distance. So maybe those weren't FAILs above (or in the past). But I'll leave them there for your amusement.
Are there markings for 800 meters in outer lanes? Tracks have all those esoteric lines and triangles, and I have no idea what they're supposed to mean.
Back Talk Wherein I don't bother think of anything clever to describe Back Talk.
Dr. Nic thinks I should be more careful with my words: "Did the Laphroaig come before the trip to Dick's, as written? If so ... I think you should have included a disclaimer to only drink that kind of alcohol before driving if you're a board-certified member of the BHI."
Answer: If you're following my example, you have bigger problems.
Happy Hour is nearly upon us, teammates. Have a finely brewed weekend and good luck to you racers out there. Run well and drink well. Cheers!
As promised, I return from the Circle of Doom with not one, but two -- count 'em 1-2 -- failures. However, one of those should have been a win.
It started raining last night during my drive home from work. I fret not the rain. I suited up and strode out the door. A warm up lap exposed a strong headwind at the fourth turn. Two satisfactory intervals in light rain got me prepared. On the third, I kicked through the blustery, final curve and beat my legs toward the line. I reached across my chest to press the lap button on my watch. I looked down and saw 1:40. Dang. Then I saw 1:41. Ohfuck.
And now the statistical rundown:
Intervals:6 x 400 meters
Goal pace: 6:26-6:42 per mile
Lap 1: 1:38.31 (6:34 per mile)
Lap 2: 1:39.55 (6:38 per mile)
Lap 3: 1:41.55 (6:46 per mile)FAIL
Lap 4: 1:41.74 (6:46 per mile) FAIL
Lap 5: 1:38.27 (6:34 per mile)
Lap 6: 1:37.88 (6:30 per mile)
Average pace: 6:38 per mile
Total distance: 4.7 miles
[Drunkard's note: Total distance includes one mile warm up, 400-meter recovery laps and one mile cool down.] The rain picked up in the middle of my track visit. The puddles swelled. I was soaked, and my shoes squashed with each step. Good times.
Just a Number This Sunday is Flag Day. And if you haven't figured it out, Flag Day is my birthday. I'll be 30. Some people worry about this number, and getting older in general. I just figure I'm growing into my personality. I was born to sit on front porches and shout at young vagrants from my rocking chair. Here are some things that will change on Sunday.
I will be in a new age group for racing, and I hope you bastards are slow. All my younger friends and loved ones will say I'm old, but I will remind them that they're next. I will be in the same decade as my siblings, which only happens once a decade. I can fondly reminisce about my 20s. And I will be that much closer to routine colonoscopies and prostate exams. That's it.
I enjoy my life. It's not as if I'm going to stop enjoying it because of my birthday. Besides, I plan on living until I'm 120. I'm only a quarter of the way there. I've got many more miles to run and kegs to tap before I ride this donkey into the sunset.
My birthday present to myself will be a five-mile hangover run at race pace tomorrow morning and a 10-mile long run on Sunday. And of course, I will be imbibing of the spirits for the majority of the weekend. Cheers to me, bitches.
Back Talk Wherein I keep the entries to a minimum because I've already given you as much entertainment as you can take.
Pregnant Jess gets all motherly on my getting sunburned: "How come men seem to believe that sunscreen is voodoo? If it weren't for me, I'm certain my husband would have melanoma by now."
Answer: I did put on sunscreen. After I'd been out in the sun for hours. Happy Hour is nearly upon us, teammates. Have a finely brewed weekend. Good luck to those of you who are racing. And to all, run well and drink well. The boat to Blackout Isle leaves shortly. All aboard!
Why must the beginning of marathon training be met with pain? My left hip is barking from deep inside what I like to call the high butt area (which now you'll all edit to read I have pain deep in my butt). Perhaps this aggravation is from all the left turns I made last night at the Circle of Doom.
And now, the statistical rundown:
Intervals:5 x 400 meters
Goal pace: 6:26-6:42 per mile
Lap 1: 1:38.63 (6:34 per mile)
Lap 2: 1:38.81 (6:34 per mile)
Lap 3: 1:36.1 (6:26 per mile)
Lap 4: 1:40.04 (6:42 per mile)
Lap 5: 1:41.1 (6:46 per mile) FAIL
Average pace: 6:34 per mile
Total distance: 4.2 miles
[Drunkard's note: Total distance includes one mile warm up, 400-meter recovery laps and one mile cool down.]
This weekend appears ripe for a couple good runs. I look forward to concluding my first week of marathon training. It's important to build determination by completing all the runs in the early stages. I feel confident in this plan.
Back Talk Wherein I'll try not to be a total dick when I address your comments.
Thanks for the heartfelt semi-quasi-encouragement this week regarding my quest for the -- what now? -- sub-four-hour marathon. Dean at Zero to Boston says: "Go Viper! May you suffer as your heart desires!"
Answer: Just keep telling me I look great no matter how dire the situation appears.
Mike at Running is Funny on my training plan: "I've use [sic] a modified [Hal] Higdon plan for both of my marathons, but I strongly feel the Intermediate II plan was far superior because you do half the distance of your long run the day prior. ... Rest or an easy day before your long runs makes your long runs easier, but I think it makes your marathon harder."
Answer: And thanks to Mike, I've already tinkered with my training plan to give this a try, as I was using Higdon's Intermediate I plan. Now, my schedule is set -- for now.
That's all for this week, teammates. Happy Hour is nearly upon us! Have a finely brewed weekend and good luck to those of you who have races. Run well and drink well.
The old master has fallen. As you will see, this drunken monkey ain't nothing to fuck with. My style is awesome (put your headphones on, language NSFW):
Meditation Before Battle Saturday, May 23 -- Final Tune Up (-37:30:00): One final track session before the dawning of the Very Funny-Viper Challenge. Same routine as before. The statistical rundown:
Intervals:4 x 400 meters
Goal pace: 6:55-7:20 per mile
Lap 1: 1:41.64 (6:46 per mile)
Lap 2: 1:43 (6:54 per mile)
Lap 3: 1:41.95 (6:46 per mile)
Lap 4: 1:39.89 (6:38 per mile)
Average pace: 6:46 per mile
Total distance: 3.7 miles
Sunday, May 24 -- Bars Closed (-17:00:00): A leisurely stroll to the main drag. A perfect day to enjoy a beer on a patio. Bar after bar is closed. A less leisurely stroll back home for a beer on the balcony. Make that two beers.
Sunday, May 24 -- Party Time (-16:00:00): Annual Memorial Day party brings more beer. Pre-race dinner is appetizers, hot dogs on the grill, potato salad, broccoli salad, ginger snaps and birthday cake. Running out of Labatt's leads to poor choice of Bud Lite as a one beer substitute. Johnnie Walker to the rescue. Also, there are shots to celebrate that birthday. What is 153? Not good.
Sunday, May 24 -- A Frisky Mr. Sandman (-8:00:00): To bed finally, but rest is not good quality. Should be a fun race day.
Putting on the Foil Monday, May 25 -- Arise, Chicken (-1:45:00): Alarm goes off. Feeling somewhat unwell. Send the Martini a text, "I has risen." He responds, "Arise, Chicken. Chicken, arise." He will pick up at 6:45 a.m. because he still needs to register. Feeling heavy. No breakfast. Only a sports drink for hydration and calories. This will be my first sock-less race.
Monday, May 25 -- Warming up (-1:00:00): We pick up our bibs and mill around for a few minutes. Martini has Courvoisier in a flask and hands it to me for a snort. This is hair of a dog that did not bite me.
Monday, May 25 -- More warming up (-0:30:00): Martini and I head out for a short warm up jog. Ten minutes at most, probably less knowing us. We jiggle our limbs and bounce up and down to keep loose.
Monday, May 25 -- Still more warming up (-0:15:00): Martini lies in the grass. I leave for light pole intervals to shock the system. Four strides of two light poles at speed with one light pole rest, out and back. People are starting to congregate at the start line. We grab one last swallow of water because we are already feeling dehydrated.
End Battle Monday, May 25 -- The race, finally (0:00:00): My race strategy for 5-Ks is to start fast and rely on my kick to finish hard, hoping the middle mile doesn't suck. This is a clock-timed race. No chip. We line up toward the front, about five people deep.
Monday, May 25 -- A second faster (0:07:30): The jockeying for position at the start. A long uphill stretch. A quick dose of water. I'm OK with my first mile. This is three seconds faster than my PR pace. But more importantly, this is one second faster than Mike's first mile.
Monday, May 25 -- I see the beast (0:14:40): I have never beaten Martini in a race. Approaching the turnaround, he passes within closing distance. I use the downhill to fly for a 7:10 second mile.
Monday, May 25 -- Over the hill (0:21:53): There are no hills on the track. Past the second mile marker and around a neighborhood block, it is all uphill to the third mile. I'm getting passed and I'm not liking it. But I like the 7:13 mile. Just a tenth of a mile to go.
Monday, May 25 -- Log jam (0:22:26): My legs are starting to feel dead. The crowd picks me up. I hear my cheering section. My 10-month old, lucky PR charm is working. I bolt into the worst finish line log jam I've ever seen. I stop my watch, thinking I achieved at least two of my top three race goals and pretty confident about nailing the third. Smells like victory.
Monday, May 25 -- Losing seconds (0:22:29): They corralled us like doomed cattle into the chute. I tore off my tag and handed it to the collector, who strung it on the cord. Checking the official results later in the day, I lose three seconds from my watch time, which is a first. Usually, I gain time. C'est la vie. I'll gladly take a 59-second PR and a crushing victory over Mike's 24:46. His PR is next.
Death Knell Martini finished less than 30 seconds ahead of me. Our closest margin yet. We celebrate at the pub with a beer and a shot of Jameson before parting ways.
Mike, the Master, has been vanquished. The Very Funny-Viper Challenge was a blast. It gave us both some motivation to get our asses into shape and fine tune our smack talk in the process. However, in a challenge, there always has to be a loser. And that loser is Mike. Good race, Mike. Cheers.
A day at the track when I did not have to skirt the large puddle on the curve. A day when the sun shined and the temperature was warming. A day when I did not achieve my planned eight repeats because I ran too fast.
I knew after my second interval that eight would not be in the cards, so I mentally trimmed the workout to six repeats instead. Too used to 800-meter intervals, I had trouble pacing myself for these 400s at a goal pace of 6:55-7:20 per mile (1:43-1:49 per 400 meters). After my fourth repeat, my 400-meter self caught up to my 800-meter self, handed him his ass and walked off the track.
Here is the statistical rundown:
Intervals:86 4 x 400 meters
Goal pace: 6:55-7:20 per mile
Lap 1: 1:30.77 (6:02 per mile) FAIL
Lap 2: 1:39.56 (6:38 per mile) FAIL
Lap 3: 1:44.29 (6:58 per mile)
Lap 4: 1:42.59 (6:50 per mile) FAIL
Average pace: 6:38 per mile
Total distance: 3.7 miles
As you can see, I was running much too fast for my abilities and bonked out of the remaining repeats. This running fast thing is tougher than I thought. For such a short workout, I felt pretty drained, which tells me I need to do more of this in the future. Variety, it's life's spice.
The good news, which will disappoint many of you, is that I remain uninjured. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry to spoil your fun. Maybe I'll try again this weekend.
After my interval bailout last week, I redeemed myself Saturday with 800-meter repeats and a slow-ass 10-mile long run on Sunday. I have already matched my April mileage with two weeks to go. And not to disappoint, I sent you into the weekend with a big fat red FAIL, and now I welcome you this week with the same.
The statistical rundown:
Intervals: 6 x 800 meters
Goal pace: 7:19-7:39 per mile
Lap 1: 3:39.62 (7:21 per mile)
Lap 2: 3:50.17 (7:43 per mile) FAIL
Lap 3: 3:44.29 (7:31 per mile)
Lap 4: 3:46.88 (7:35 per mile)
Lap 5: 3:52.93 (7:47 per mile) FAIL
Lap 6: 3:43.17 (7:29 per mile)
Average pace: 7:35 per mile
Total distance: 6.2 miles
Since I started running six 800-meter repeats, the fastest pace I've been able to average is 7:35 per mile. I also have not been able to escape the track without at least two intervals slower than my goal pace. I have one more track session scheduled before my Memorial Day 5-K showdown with Mike. Is it possible to improve my speed with only a week to go?
Sunday's long run was sluggish. I loped along slowly at 10:28 per mile for the first five miles, thinking I would pick it up on the return trip. Only when I turned around did I discover I'd been running with a tailwind. I ran slowly back, but with a stronger effort, averaging a 10:25 pace for the entire 10 miles.
Congrats to all the Booze Hound finishers of the Cleveland Marathon and to Sarah who BQ'd. It was a perfect day to race, which figures since I didn't run and it rained the last two times I did. But I'm not bitter.
Part of me wants to call last night's track session a failure. My average pace dropped two seconds, and two laps were well over my goal pace. I should be getting faster.
And it appears Longmire picked and ran the marathon without: 1) a neighboring runner killing him, 2) smashing his banjo and leaving it on the side of the road, or 3) a neighboring runner killing him.
No word on whether "Dueling Banjos" made his set list. (But I guarantee someone requested it.)
Although I salute John's feat (and feet) as a fellow runner and banjo player, I still question his mental state.
Back Talk Wherein for once I try not to belittle my readers too much on the basis of their comments.
Flatout Jim -- or should I write FLATOUT JIM!!1!!!one!!? -- doesn't think Mike and I have enough at stake in our upcoming duel: "I think the winner should get to bitch slap the loser. Loser pays the plane ticket."
Answer: A plane ticket? Do you know how much that would cost in this wintry economic climate? We're not the BAA.
And to tie in this post's title, Xenia points out another motivating factor in training for my upcoming 5-K and calls attention to a very important historic date: "Will this be your last chance to score an AG award in the 20s category? Your b-day is pretty soon, is it not, Mr. Gemini?"
Answer: Yes, it might be. And yes, it is. You people better recognize!
Happy Hour is nearly upon us. Run well and drink well, teammates. Cheers!
The flock milled about the infield, chewing the grass. Suddenly, I had the sensation that I've written this sentence before. But that time, I was talking about geese.
This time, the track was overpopulated with some sort of organized activity group consisting of people of, let's say, a certain mental faculty.
Rain threatened, but it did not fall last night as I ran my intervals, weaving in and out of puddles and people who did not understand what it meant when I yelled, "Track!" That is my excuse for failure in the following stats:
Intervals: 6 x 800 meters
Goal pace: 7:19-7:39 per mile
Lap 1: 3:31.62 (7:04 per mile)
Lap 2: 3:45.74 (7:33 per mile)
Lap 3: 3:51.87 (7:45 per mile)FAIL
Lap 4: 3:54.92 (7:51 per mile) FAIL
Lap 5: 3:45.39 (7:33 per mile)
Lap 6: 3:50:36 (7:43 per mile) FAIL
Average pace: 7:35 per mile
Total distance: 6.2 miles
I added three failures last night. Lap 4 was eerily similar to my previous Lap 4, a difference of 0.01 seconds, and the average pace also was the same as my last track session. However, the total distance got me over the 57-mile hump.
That said, April is done. Here is the statistical run-down:
Tune in next month to see if I can reach 60 miles! I hope the anticipation kills you.
Back Talk Wherein I chastise my new readers and expect them to willingly return again.
BrianFlash of Team Flash stops by Team BHI to confess his sins: "I love beer and running (although at my age, I'm drinking less and running more)."
Answer: Booze Hounds laboratories have conducted studies that show it actually takes less effort to drink more and run less as we age. Consult your local Pub for proper penance.
Tfh needs a lesson in musical instruments: "You really do march to the beat of a different drummer, don't you. Playing your banjo, clambering over hotel furniture barefoot, running sockless."
Answer: Just because a banjo looks like a drum on a stick does not mean I'm a drummer. Note of caution: Sockless intervals may lead to blisters.
That's all for this week, teammates. Have a fine weekend. Good luck to all racers. Run well and drink well.
