Thursday, April 30, 2009

Hotel Hijinks and GI Googlies

Today is the day. I have to run at least six more miles today if I'm going to beat last month's total of 57 miles. Although rain is in the weather forecast, I won't let it keep me from finishing my self-imposed challenge.

And just to spice it up, I plan to run those six miles on the track in the form of 800-meter intervals.

I could have been done with these miles sooner had I not been traveling for business Tuesday and Wednesday, going where the only "local" beer to be had was a Shiner Bock. And not even on draft.

My arrival time on Tuesday was not conducive to running. Instead, I packed my stretchy bands and planned to do some cross training in my hotel room.

First, I did some of them twisty yoga moves I learned to warm up. Then I did three sets each of stretchy curls, push-ups, bicycle crunches, leg lifts, lunges and calf extensions.

The calf extensions were especially amusing because I didn't have a good raised ledge to hang my heels off of, so I climbed up on the hotel chest of draws for Viper-approved AIR calf extensions. Amazingly, my bare toes did not slip from the edge and I did not egregiously injure myself.

I finished up with some more yoga-ish moves to stretch and cool down. All said and done, a pretty good workout.

I returned home Wednesday right around dinner time. I wanted to run, but I needed to enjoy some quality time on the couch and a rare steak with Gorgonzola cheese melted on top. And enjoy I did.

However, you may not know this, but steak before a run does not make for a happy gastrointestinal tract during a run. For the first two miles I was farting up a storm and blaming it on the squirrels. But then I felt if I let go another one that I'd be breaking more than just wind.

The rest of the run was an exercise in bloated pacing. And clenching.

I finished my four miles with a decent pace (8:49 per mile), but my stomach needed the rest of the night to settle. So I had a La Fin du Monde and returned prostrate on the couch.

Home again, home again, twiddly diddly dee. Hiccup.


Xenia said...

The elusive Farting Squirrel. I swear I've seen a Nature or Mutual of Omaha program on them. They're everywhere too. I've heard them in England for sure.

Nitmos said...

The Farting Squirrel is much more pleassant to be around than the Sharting Squirrel, FWIW.

Knock out those 6!

Spike said...

if you think steak before a run is bad, try a bowl full of Hamburger Helper Beef Pasta (your not sure which end it will exit).

ever have a running partner not know about farting squirrels, their ignorance is so embarrassing.

Vanilla said...

Tuna tacos are also not a good pre-meal choice. I discovered this on Tuesday.

Vanilla said...

Ugh, that should read "pre-run" choice.

Jess said...

I would blame the Gorgonzola before the steak. But, I can truly sympathize; it's hard to run and squeeze at the same time!

tfh said...

You really do march to the beat of a different drummer, don't you. Playing your banjo, clambering over hotel furniture barefoot, running sockless.

Sun Runner said...

Well, clearly you're made of stronger stuff than I, since my usual solution is to find a grassy knoll and leave my mark.

At a grocery store post-race last night, I saw my first-ever bottle of your beloved Baltika. I almost bought it just so I could see what all the fuss is about. Instead, I opted for Bell's Oberon at a restaurant. But now I know where I can find it in the future.

Ted said...

Farting a storm!!! It is a blessing that I don't live in Ohio these days.

the erratic epicurean said...

"I felt if I let go another one that I'd be breaking more than just wind." your prose is simply incredible viper. hahaha!

joyRuN said...

Mmmmm... I LOVE steak. Would've been worth the exercise in @$$-clenching.

X-Country2 said...

Gorgonzola?! Not sure who you passed along the way, but I'm guessing you stunk. :o)