This week I was challenged to a duel. And I accepted.
After reading my Monday post, Mike at Running Is Funny suggested we face off during our respective Memorial Day 5-Ks. The winner gets well nothing at all really except bragging rights.
Mike's 5-K PR is exactly one minute faster than mine, which -- contrary to his blog title -- isn't funny at all. And his most recent 5-K was 20 seconds faster than my PR. Still not funny.
Despite his record of being faster, I've got youth on my side, as I'm about 20 years younger. And I'm not coming off an injury. And all my scientific research tells me I'm on the upswing of my running life, while I'm just going to propagate the potential lie that Mike is on the downswing, as his old brittle bones are letting the back of the pack catch up to him.
I've run two consecutive 20-mile weeks with another on the way, and Mike has run 12 miles (allegedly) in the last six weeks. I ran six repeats of 800-meter intervals at an average 7:35 mile pace last week, while Mike ran a 1.75-mile loop at 8:10 pace yesterday.
My biggest advantage, however, is you, my dimwitted readers.
Many of you have already played into my hand by rooting against me at Mike's site. I would expect nothing less. Keep it up. I love nothing more than playing the villain. Even if you start rooting for me, I'll know you are lying. Your negativity feeds my fire. I can feel your anger. Yes! Yes!
[Drunkard's note: Insert diabolical laugh.]