... To the blog, not me.
One year ago tomorrow, Team BHI took a jolt of electricity to the neck bolts and sprang to life with a thirst so powerful we have yet to find a cure.
first post was a tiresome statement of resurrection, as BHI's first incarnation was as a MySpace group. Somehow I managed to survive four months before I ever got a comment -- a rather innocuous reply from Vanilla -- and now you've been made to suffer for that small encouragement.
I managed to drink away many of those early posts, but these past couple of minutes I've been taking a trip down the Memory Culdesac. Instead of suggesting that you subject yourself to the same sort of torture, I have compiled a Booze Hounds Inc. Running Team Retrospective, a more efficient waste of your time.
May 2007 - My first month included two monotonous race reports that focus more on the booze I drank before and/or afterward than the actual races. Yet, it was still a rather boring month. However, it did include a fine local recipe for a shooter. Give it a try. You'll probably need it if you intend to keep reading.
June 2007 - My birthday month! The Viper's, not the blog's. This month contains one of my more famous drinking stories in which a fine officer of the law referred to me as the "scum of the Earth." Care for a picnic?
July 2007 - Have you ever taken a trip on the Red Line Express? Have you ever wanted to use a backhoe on your esophagus? Another fine recipe and the realization that boozing makes me a faster runner.
August 2007 - Moving right along.
September 2007 - To make up for August, two pearls of wisdom on the dos and don'ts from the Team BHI Code of Conduct.
October 2007 - I feel obliged to include the race report of my first marathon, but you might find my pedantic advice more helpful. Or perhaps you're having trouble reconciling your running and your drinking. But I prefer complaints.
November 2007 - I must really like telling you what to do. Rules for my fellow cold weather teammates. Pay strict attention to No. 7 and if you're clever (which you're not) you might find the only photo of me on this site.
December 2007 - I love being snarky. I even had to fix a link for this one.
January 2008 - Getting revenge is holy. Watch your ass, bikers!
February 2008 - Why don't I get more greeting cards?
March 2008 - The results from the Guess Viper's Car contest, in which I berate the contestants for their poor showing. Feel free to test your own car recognition skills in the comments.
April 2008 - Ah, the Boston Marathon. All well and good except for the Boston part.
May 2008 - Happy Birthday! Now where's my cake?
Thanks to everyone who has stopped by to witness my drunken buffoonery and to those who have heckled me in the comments. I hope you've had fun watching me get drunker and faster. Or should that be get drunk faster?