Monday, January 7, 2008

The Cycle of Revenge

You know it's happened to you. You're running along one of your favorite park paths. You're nailing your splits on the nose but feeling comfortable. A cool breeze is keeping you from overheating. Blue skies. Birds singing. The works.

And then without warning some ass-padded spandex wearing gear changer with a LiveStrong bracelet blows past you about an inch from your shoulder, sending you into a ditch.

Now, what do you do? You get revenge.

This Fullerton, Calif., man has the right idea. Dig 50 holes along the path and watch the mayhem. Better yet, cover up the holes like tiger traps so the cyclist is none the wiser. Although, if you're one of my San Francisco readers, you may want to rethink how you've been building tiger traps in the past. Best to keep your camera handy.

Ask and I Shall Receive
So, last post I got all whiny about the cold. Well, what do you know? It was in the mid-40s Saturday, the 50s Sunday and today and tomorrow it's supposed to be in the 60s. Take that Snow Miser!

Ask the Drunkard
As your wise copilot on the road and in the bar, it is my pleasure to help answer your pressing questions about running and/or drinking. Laura left me a comment asking, What is a prediction race?

As I stated last time, a prediction race is the only kind of running event I'm likely to win any time soon. It's not about who crosses the finish line first, it's about who comes closest to guessing their overall time. The trick is there are no watches or pacing tools of any kind allowed.

My last prediction race was a four miler in February 2007, when I had not been running a whole lot leading up to it. I guessed I'd run 38:35, but instead ran 36:08. The guy who won predicted a time of 29:51 and ran 29:45. There were three others who were six seconds off their predictions, so the fastest time won it.

Prediction races are a good time. And if you know your race pacing, you have a pretty good chance to score some loot.


Ian said...

"some ass-padded spandex wearing gear changer with a LiveStrong bracelet..."

LMAO. I hate it when those guys blow past within in inches of my arm when the path we're sharing is 6+ feet wide.

Laura said...

I just hate when there is a sidewalk next to the running lane of the road in Central Park, and yet people (often couples) insist upon walking hand in hand in the running lane. I'm not talking about people who are walking for fitness (I have great respect for people who are slower than me, as I am not that fast myself) - you can tell them by the windpants and waterbottles, and even if they're chatting as they walk, that's fine with me. No, I mean the women in high heels and fancy clothes with guys who are carrying all their bags, who were clearly out shopping and decided "why not go for a stroll in the park." THOSE people are the ones I purposely burn past and actually try to sideswipe as I do.

I guess I'm kind of a running bitch.