Tuesday, December 4, 2007

I Heart the Media

I was driving my user interface on the Information Super Intertrons, when I found a hard hitting analysis of the marathoner's mind. The inimitable Ron Kantowski of the Las Vegas Sun has written an insightful deconstruction of what a marathoner thinks about mile after mile from the wise perspective of a non-marathoner.

Kantowski takes us all the way through the 26.2 miles, chronicling his obsession with some imagined girl and her shapely rear end. At his fictional finish line, he exclaims, "I did it! I finished the marathon. Now where's that cute girl in the tight running shorts?"

Well, I'll tell you, Mr. Kantowski. She finished two hours ago and is well into her Celebration Ale.

You want to know the thought process of a marathoner from someone who has finished a marathon?

Miles 1-10: "Fuck, this is going to be a long day."
Mile 11: "Sweet! Downhill! See you suckers."
Mile 12: "Damn, shouldn't have taken that downhill so fast."
Miles 13-20: "Hills are not my friend ... Hey, I'm passing someone! Later, wheelchair guy ... Hills are not my friend."
Miles 21-22: "Why is the last uphill the biggest?"
Mile 23: "Those are my friends. Shit, what are their names? Just wave. Not that much."
Miles 24-25: "This black skyscraper of a man is walking and I can't pass him."
Mile 26: "Family. Wave. Keep moving."
Finish: "Who are all these people and what are they doing in my backyard?"

1 comment:

Unknown said...

ROFLMAO -- Man, this is a riot. Your blog is terrific and it is cracking me up. Reading your blog regularly is like getting a good dose of laughter. Keep up the good work! Look forward to more and more of this cracks!