Thursday, April 17, 2008

Boston Unbound

[Thanks to ZeroToBoston for the link.]

Unless you live under a rock or don't give a rat's ass about running, you know that the Boston Marathon is Monday. Above is the finish of the so-called greatest Boston Marathon ever when Dick Beardsley and Alberto Salazar battled each other in 1982. For you geeks who like to read, there's also a book about that race.

I'm going to pass on Boston this year. It's not that I didn't qualify, I just don't feel like running that day. And it's 112th running of the race, and 112 just so happens to be my least favorite number. And I couldn't find a flight. And I think the beer there stinks.

I'm avoiding Boston because I think the sports fans are wasteful ...

... or just half fast. Just remember that Bill Belichick learned to cheat in Cleveland. And Manny Ramirez learned to hit a baseball as an Indian. And I'm still a little bitter that both guys left Ohio and won championships in Beantown. And I'm just waiting for the Celtics to knock the Cavs out of the playoffs. And if I still had a horse in the NHL playoffs, I'd say something mean about the Bruins too.

I'm not going to Boston because I don't like clam chowder. Or beans. Or tea parties. And I never liked Paul Revere. Or the Raiders.

I'm turned off by Bostonians because they're a little uppity about their vocabulary and I'm not OK with that.

And I just don't like Boston.

I'm not running Boston this year, but I do wish some fellow runners good luck.

Nitmos, be not afraid of Dick Beardsley. Have faith in the police motorcycle that will allow you pass him unscathed.

Dean, heed your own advice. You'll need it.

Good luck, fellas, and to anyone else who happens to stumble by.


Ian said...

Thanks for Belichick and Manny, when is LeBron leaving Cleveland. If memory serves he's a big NY fan no?

Unknown said...

I feel your pain. You are not alone. I get the chill up and down in my spine when I hear the word - Boston. I can actually feel there is an ice in my vein when people clamor how wonderful Boston is. It makes me wanna throw up just like a little girl in the movie called "Omen".
I am cheering for the Cleveland Cavs. Its imperative that Lebron stays on the top of this.

Anonymous said...

Viper, you crack me up!

I think I may just bail on Baaahston. Who needs it?!

- Dean