Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Running Roulette: Track or Ice Rink?

You lose.

Well, most of you lose.

Vanilla, you were over. Xenia, how about you eat some crow. Brooke, your lucky streak has ended. Nitmos, you might as well uncross your fingers; gambling just isn't your sport.

Your bets were unwisely placed. I fell not once last night during my snowy speed intervals. ("Speed" being used very loosely.) The thing I did do once was hit my goal pace range (3:38-3:48).

Note to self:
Slippery surfaces are not conducive to fast running.

(Yes, Sarah, you told me so. You were right. But don't get too cocky. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.)

The only reader who had faith in my balance and coordination was TFH. The backhand of that compliment is that she called my planned 3 x 800 session a "sissy workout."

"You need the snow to make it worthwhile," she wrote.

Well, I guess then it was very worthwhile. There was plenty of snow. By the end of the second 800-meter interval, I was shaking off ice clumps from the bottoms of my shoes. I'll blame my slow splits on the added weight to my feet.

The Numbers:
  • Intervals: 3 x 800 meters
  • Lap 1: 3:46
  • Lap 2: 3:51
  • Lap 3: 4:03
  • Falls: 0
  • Totals: 3:53.3 average (7:49 pace); 4.2 miles (includes warm up, recovery laps and cool down)
My splits were not very encouraging for the 5-K this weekend. However, it was nice not to wipe out like the snowboarders -- that's a new one -- who had set up a ramp on the small hill by the track.

But I never really thought I'd fall. Unlike you.

What most of you failed to remember was how I spent my youth playing ice hockey, which I only mentioned here, here, here and here.

I guess I've kept it pretty quiet.

The truth is I'm pretty stable on the ice. I started ice skating seriously when I was 8 years old. (See that? My ice-skating skills are legally allowed to drink.) The ice arena was my babysitter. It was also once my employer.

Skating to me is like riding a bike, more so than actually riding a bike. I might fall when there are a couple of leaves on the ground, but not so with ice.

And yes, Vava, this does mean I'm as sure-footed as a mountain goat. Ice doesn't faze me.

(Pause, to knock on wood.)

So, Marcy, to answer your question, the way I roll in the winter is indeed sans YakTrax or "whatever gripping dealy." I wear my regular running shoes. Nothing special.

I keep hearing about YakTrax, and I've been talking about screw-shoes for like a year now. In reality, I probably won't pursue either until I really bite it on the ice.

Question of the day: What is the Irony Score of running on an icy track that is behind an ice arena? What if said ice arena is the very same ice arena where I learned to ice skate?

I think J. Peterman would call that perfect irony.


Sun Runner said...

No, no, no, I would never say "I told you so." That would be mean and not at all in keeping with the values of Team BHI (unless "good-natured ribbing" is in the bylaws). Let's just say I was prescient (dictionary says it means "divine omniscience" which sounds pretty awesome). However, you may also notice that nowhere did I say I thought you would fall down. Just that running on a snow-covered track sucks. I knew that a fellow Clevelander would never slip on snow. We're a tough breed.

Now, on to more important matters: the Big Game. You know what I mean. I can just hear you sharpening your knives of verbiage, ready to unleash them on my poor wounded maize & blue heart, to make it bleed Ohio State Buckeyes red.

Brooke said... mention that 'Slippery surfaces are not conducive to fast running'...yet claim to be very comfortable on ice...and today Nitmos says, '..I’m left to discern between a patch of ice or a shadow from a tree. Could be either...Did I decrease my speed? No...' so it seems only SOME people are slowed by the elements ;) However I would have killed myself, and probably would have fallen multiple times, so mad props. Though I'm sure the snowboarders would've gotten a kick out of seeing you wipe out.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Yet again, your myriad foes were wrong and you were right and proved it and you have given them yet another well-deserved @55-whipping. And the halcyon streets and byways of Akron are safe once more ... but for how long???

What is the Irony Score of running on an icy track that is behind an ice arena?

Score = 7 on the ironometer! Pretty good!!

What if said ice arena is the very same ice arena where I learned to ice skate?

Ooooo, that didn't help! That shot you right past irony and into the realm of cliché! Shoulda quit while you were ahead.

Marcy said...

Dude you are freekin insane. I suppose it doesn't matter if you ever wipe out, you'll just drown yourself in some beers to relieve any pain. Problem solved.

Ian said...

You might think that I lost, but the true loser here was consistency. Way to rock the positive splits on those 800s.

C said...

I'll pass on the crow, but thanks for offering.

You have totally tempted fate in this post, btw. I see a major ice/snow related fall for you in the not so distant future.

One concession--I envy you your skating history. That would have been nice to have growing up.

Vava said...

Unless the clock is digital...

Nitmos said...

I'm on a gambling cold streak it seems. Much like your 800's.

Ms. V. said...

I've never fallen. Not once. Guess I should run more.

J Peterman...all I see is that cake that Elaine ate.


Boscoe, Boscoe, Boscoe.

WTG Viper.

chia said...

LMAO which is exactly why I'm moving south next month :-)

I'm so glad you didn't get injured. Many hopes for a gentle winter and no slipsies.

Unknown said...

Nice job on staying upright. Could it may be due to all the drunk walking practice?

Jess said...

Good thing I don't run on snow and/or ice here in FL because I have fallen twice just running on asphalt. Clearly, I'm not meant for slippery surfaces.

Your icy running location does make for great situational irony. The verbal irony will come now that you have proclaimed yourself "stable on the ice."