Flashback Friday

Looking back on this week's running, I've tried three new pieces of gear. I have a new white long sleeve C9 (by Champion) tech shirt. There is my charcoal gray fleece Columbia vest. And, of course, the Reflecto-Vest. This edition of Flashback Friday will be a week in review ... review style. But first, how do you like your first glimpse of the Viper? That's me all geared up for last night's run. Actually, I didn't wear the bandanna over my face, but I probably will once it actually gets cold.

White Bright
The white long sleeve tech shirt serves two purposes: it wicks my sweat away and adds another piece of bright clothing for visibility. I also doubled it overtop my charcoal gray (I like gray) long sleeve tech shirt, which is not so visible at night. I know, a tech shirt isn't all that exciting, but this is what I bought when those fascists only stocked super expensive, barely reflective but still called it "reflective" running gear. Yes, I'm still a little bitter. Grade: C, does the job.

Just Because It's Not Broke Doesn't Mean You Can't Fix It
Notice the Reflecto-Vest. That knot shown above just won't do. I've had two runs thus far and each time that side has come untied. The other side has been knotted since the Gilded Age and probably will remain so until Doomsday. I just can't seem to get the other side to stay. It seems I never would have received my knot badge in Boy Scouts. I likely would have been too busy earning my Scotch badge -- twice.

Instead of trying to figure out a better knot, I decided to use my ingenuity. I snipped out one of those plastic doohickeys that cinch draw strings from a jacket of mine. It had two, so I figured it wouldn't mind if I harvested one. So far, the Reflecto-Vest is accepting the transplant.

Reflecto-Vest has been very effective. Instead of car bumpers buzzing my ankles without requesting a flyby or drivers giving me the blinding brights "how do you do," cars are swerving away from me and my blinding "good to see you and how's your father." I'm a bouncing, glowing hyphen on the side of the road and I feel much safer. The Reflecto-Vest also saves me from the morning run. Reflecto-Vest, I love you. Even if you do smell like the armpits of a mummy, entombed circa 1313 BCE. Grade: A+, dig it!

Double Vested
I'm not one of those vest guys. Despite other claims. However, the Columbia fleece vest has been a nice addition to my wardrobe. Especially, for these between temperatures. I mean, for seriously Ohio, are you going to be cold or what?

I had a tough time finding a fleece vest for some reason. It seems the last few years, you could find anything you wanted in fleece: fleece blankets, fleece pullovers, fleece caps, fleece gloves, fleece condoms ... you name it. Now, it seems we're into big and puffy. I feel no urge to walk around looking like an overstuffed pillow. This vest makes me feel sleek and keeps my torso cozy. Grade: B, a nice surprise.

Wish List
There is, however, one item I have not acquired. I always thought those fuel belts were a little silly, but perhaps it's because I had not seen this one. I tell you what, I saw that picture and immediately fell in love. I don't care if the woman's face is a double-bagger. If she approached me with that fuel belt ... goodness! Grade: F, as in, Where the F is mine?

Happy weekend folks. Run straight to happy hour.

Don't Tell Me What to Do

Tom over at the Runners' Lounge suggested everybody write about their sagely running advice. Since I'm too lazy to think of my own topic I like to share, that's exactly what I'll do. I've taken part in six races this year. In September, I ran my worst race, the Buckeye Half Marathon, which taught me some fine lessons. But I think everything I know about racing can be boiled down to these three maxims:

No. 1: Do the simple things. Don't find out the hard way that you should double knot your shoes. Just do it. It's dumb not to. Also, wear what's comfortable, lube or tape the sensitive spots, give yourself enough time to digest your pre-race meal, visit the restroom, blow your nose, pick it if you have to, brush your teeth, pin your number on, attach your chip timer, double check your double knotted shoes and so on. If you take care of all the simple things before you cross the starting line, you'll be able to focus on overcoming the real challenges of the race. Don't be dumb. Do the simple things.

No. 2: What are you worrying about? You did train, right? Well, then forget what you read in Runners' World on Thursday. Don't listen to what your sister's client said. Ignore what your dog said. Most bloggers are idiots. Disregard the latest study regarding running form, hydration, diet and yadda, yadda, yadda. You should have worried about that stuff during your training. It's too late now. Quit freaking out and run the race you prepared for.

No. 3: Drink good beer after you finish. Don't settle for that watery Michelob Ultra or Coors Light. Feed that to your kids and go for the good stuff. After a race you need something more nourishing. Something heavy. Something that will make you forget how hungry you are. You need to rehydrate and replace carbs. That's no job for your diet beer. Treat yourself right. Embrace your inner beer snob. Run well and drink well.

So, to summarize, don't be dumb, quit freaking out and drink well.

[Drunkard note: Race prizes resulting from following this advice shall be subject to a 75 percent consultant fee. It's only fair.]

What Else I Can Do to Hurt Myself

Boston's loss last night was very enjoyable to witness in person, and the game was a nice way not to think about the running I'm not doing because of the hip I have that is not well. Tonight, however, I have no such distraction. I've spent an inordinate portion of the day thinking of what I can do instead of running tonight. And, now, to finish it off, I'll share my plans:

• I have a bike. I could ride it. But I really haven't had much desire to cycle since I participated in the National MS Society Pedal to the Point 100-mile ride in 2004. It was for a great cause, but I'll never do it again. I think I felt worse after that than I did after the marathon. And I pulled out after the first day. So that's out.
• I don't like weight lifting, so let's not even pretend that was on my mind.
• I don't have a gym membership, so no swimming either. Also, I don't know how to swim.
  
• It wasn't until I came across this lunatic at Ridgeline Fitness that I thought about that giant green bouncy ball in my room that I occasionally like to drag out from under my desk to do sit-ups. Yeah, I have a swiss ball. Maybe I should, like, you know, learn some exercises for it. So, tonight, I'll see if I can't stiffen my core muscles for tomorrow's post.