Friday, November 14, 2008

Flashback Friday: Conservatively Compassionate

Two things I liked during my seven-miler last night:
  • The two young men on the street corner who dropped a beat a when I ran past them, a perfect rhythm to my imperfect stride. The beat was in my head for the rest of my run.
  • The fellow in the SUV who pulled alongside me when I approached an apartment driveway, stopped in the road, and waved me on when I looked at him. He gets the Good Motorist Award for communication and courtesy.
One thing I didn't like:
  • The schmuck who pulled his junker sedan halfway into the bank driveway I was crossing and then looked at me as if his right of way was being violated. This clever move forced me to stop running before he completed his turn. This jackass motorist gets added my ever-growing list of grievances (previously stated here and here).
Only 160 miles to go.

Sitings Elsewhere

Payback is a bitch.

Sarah gives thanks to me (and a few others).

Apparently, I'm Ms. V's fountain of youth. Read on to find out what mine is.

Captain TL;DR (or GQ to most of you) thinks I'm a wounded soul and, for some reason, a red-head. It's not the first time, nor the last, that he's been wrong.

Vanilla doesn't think too highly of my snot-rocket technique. Fair enough, I never thought highly of him.

Marcy shares the struggle to run.

Mike at Running Is Funny didn't think I was funny this week. Coincidentally, neither was he.

Reader Contributions
Well, wouldn't you know it, one of you actually wrote something in the comments worth sharing. There's a first time for everything.

Ms. V shares some very important lab studies, which if successful will help the Viper live for 120 years. Some drunk geeks at MIT have been brewing "BioBeer," which contains a specially engineered yeast that produces resveratrol, the anti-aging chemical found in red wine. [Drunkard's note: Team BHI reported on these benefits of red wine and some additional health benefits of beer in February.]

Back Talk
Wherein I hurt your delicate feelings to make myself feel better about myself.

Joyrun tells me how I should have reacted to the Jackass in White Shorts: "I woulda passed him & tripped his sorry ass up on the way. But hey, I'm a vindictive b*tch like that."

Answer: Yes, you are.

Al is a little more compassionate about my fall: "I would have asked if you were ok, and seeing that you were, then laughed."

Answer: This seems to be a common sentiment among my jerk readers.

Turi is a little too fixated on cockles: "Warm cockles. Yeah, that's why I'm doing early morning runs on the treadmill. Too chilly out. Didn't think of trying cider. How do you apply that to the cockles?"

Answer: We'd have to use a bone saw to open up your chest plate and pour the cider directly on your heart to warm the cockles. Dr. Viper is willing to perform this back-alley surgery for a nominal fee.

Happy Hour is nearly upon us, teammates. Enjoy your weekend. Run well and drink well. Cheers!

15 comments:

Blyfinn said...

I often with I could run with bumper stickers that said "I'm a F*@%ing idiot" and then slap them on the back of cars like the one you met at the bank driveway.

Vanilla said...

I'm going to start ending all of my posts with the phrase "... and Viper was not funny this week."

+1 to Mike at Running is Funny

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Captain TL;DR? Woo-hoo! Thanks for the field promotion!

[bitterly]Where's MY breakfast food write-up, Nitmos?[/bitterly]

tfh said...

What other surgeries will you perform? We're in open enrollment here, and my insurance went way up this year...maybe you should put up a fee schedule.

Marcy said...

I'm looking to get my tubes tied. You do that? :P Hell how about you just rip out my uterus. Adding another person to the world with half of my DNA is just not right.

Sarah said...

Jerk. I give you some link love in two consecutive posts and you repay me by taking a snarky stab to my maize and blue heart? I shall never forgive you.

Ms. V. said...

I knew I went to college for somethin'.

Jess said...

See, what all this research about the longevity effects of alcohol is overlooking is a simple thing called "pickling." They're trying to fancy it up with some hooey-balooey research with made-up words and chemicals, but what it comes down to is that we drunkards will live longer simply because alcohol is a preservative.

Now, that's science.

Viper said...

And that's one to grow on!

Xenia said...

For some reason, I think you're blond. Red hair, not so much.

Have a good weekend.

Sarah said...

we drunkards will live longer simply because alcohol is a preservative.

I KNEW there was a reason I never get sick anymore! It's not my immune system, it's the inherent disinfecting properties of my blood! That, my friends, is called "adaptive immunity."

joyRuN said...

Ah, my week wouldn't be complete without a shout out on Booze Hounds.

Thanks?

chia said...

I never really understood why people don't check the sidewalks before just whipping their ghetto sled into one's path.

I once yelled at a car "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!?!?"

I thought that was a good followup to dumbassery. Although I often wonder myself who I am.. but it did sound tough at the time ;-)

Halen Smith said...

I love Your Blog.You should have to put some of your knowledge in your next posting. Well done.
Resveratrol Acai

Health and Fitness said...

, I think you're blond. Red hair, not so much.