Friday, May 22, 2009

Flashback Friday: Put Up or Shut Up or Neither

Well, this is it, folks. Next you hear from me will be my race report from the Tallmadge Memorial 5-K -- and hopefully by then I will also know of my victory in the Very Funny-Viper Challenge.

I have a tiered selection of goals for this race:
  1. Beat my PR
  2. Beat Mike
  3. Beat Mike's PR (22:28)
  4. Beat fourth place in my age group
  5. Beat everyone in my age group
  6. Beat everyone of the female persuasion
  7. Beat everyone else in the field
  8. Beat everyone else, ever
The age group goal is very real. This may be my last race among 25-29'ers. The closest I've come to placing in a 5-K is fifth. (I placed second in a 10-K, but my dumb ass never picked up my award.) I was going to put faith in my wisdom and experience to trump the others in my division, but that might Karmically doom me in the race against Mike. Of course, his masters geriatric status might save me in that instance.

Time to race!

Back Talk
Wherein I totally drop some knowledge on your ignorant asses and then show my own ignorant ass because I believe in quid pro quo.

Xenia wonders how I get all my fancy numbers: "I have a serious, but potentially stupid question for you. How do you track all your 800m times if you don't have a Garmin? Does your sports watch have a special feature or something?"

Answer: I will do my best not to sound patronizing. It's called "lap recall." After starting my watch, I can press start again for each lap (up to 30) and it will allow me to recall my splits after I press stop. All I need to remember is the distance per lap. I bought my Timex Ironman on sale at Target for about $25. The only drawback compared to a Garmin is that I actually have to use my brain when I log my runs.

Now, it is my turn to ask you all a question. Do any of you actually warm up before a race? What is your routine for what distance? How much time before the race's start do you warm up? Why have I never warmed up more than a couple hops up and down before a race?

Happy Hour is nearly upon us. Good luck to all the racers out there this weekend, especially me. Happy Memorial Day. Don't drink and run ... on a treadmill. [Drunkard's note: There is more margin for stumbling on solid ground.] Run well and drink well, teammates. Cheers!


Nitmos said...

Warm up is for wimps. Nothing spurs you on quicker than the rapid crackle and pop of your cold joints as you burst from the starting line. Who needs an Achilles anyhow? It's legendary for its weakness.

Good luck in your race. I guess.

C said...

Thanks for the info. I'm rather depressed though that your cheapo non-Garmin timing devise is so much better than mine. Poopsicles.

The Very Funny-Viper challenge has been most entertaining to follow. I look forward to seeing the results next week.

Good luck, drunkard.

Ian said...

My pre-race warm up consists of jumping up and down a couple of times and shaking my legs. Anything beyond that is just using up precious energy and carbs that I've taken great care to load up on. For you, I do recommend drinking and then running and also videotaping.

Good luck on your race, Mike.

Unknown said...

I have to warm up a little otherwise it seems to take 5 min before I feel comfortable. I tend to not stretch much at all and just do a few strides and light jogging.

tfh said...

Good luck this weekend! May you set a world 5k record.

Back in x-country, we used to warm up for a 5k by running the entire course slowly. These days that's a bit much for me, but I believe in the 15 minute warm-up & strides, even if I don't always practice it.

Carolina John said...

good luck on the race viper. before triathlons i warm up with a few minutes of swimming, but that's it. i think the best thing before a running race is some time on the bike. I found about 15 minutes hard on the bike is ideal for a 5k or 10k run. Your legs are quite warm and ready to go, but it has no impact on knees or ankles to jar the body into something harsh.

Jess said...

Good luck this weekend!

Jess said...

I never warm up. But then I never have pipe dreams of placing within my AG.

Good luck this weekend!

Mike said...

Creepy. I have that same watch and I also got it at Target.

I do at least a half-mile warm-up before any race shorter than a half-marathon. Too easy to pull a muscle if you go out cold in that huge crush of runners at the start.

mr loser said...

All warm ups completed by 3:00 am race day, normally with Kamchatka (Ohio's #1 liquor by sales volume, btw). For last weekend's Rite-Aid 10k, I warmed up with something called French martinis and Jagermeister, producing somewhat negative results. For what it's worth, to achieve the optional performance necessary to win the Viper challenge, I recommend sticking with Kamchatka.

Good luck on your race.

Spike said...

I usually warm up by running the kids mile (or half mile). during that time I also warm up my trash talk...that is, I talk trash to the kids I'm actually beating. some of those kids are fast!

BrianFlash said...

"Beat everyone of the female persuasion"

This is also one of my big goals - only achieved by me in one race in my modern era - and that only had 14 total people running!

X-Country2 said...

I tried to warm up by jogging from the car to the start line, but I felt like a major tool and stopped about 25 yards from the car.

Good luck this weekend.

Marcy said...

I hoped you rocked that B out, homie! I feel the doom of the 30-35 AG coming fast myself *sigh*