Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The Fighting on Both Fronts

Vanilla has broken our agreement to run a clean campaign by comparing me to Tom Cruise. Though his ethics are sadly underdeveloped, I shall not retaliate with any sort derogatory comment on his equally underdeveloped manhood. I promised to run a clean campaign, and I will continue to refrain from bashing Vanilla for his lack of character, speed and intellect.

In fact, I'd like to warn Vanilla about the possible insurgents within his own home who might be conspiring against his health by licking his toothbrush. Good luck not getting violently ill.

Reigning Idiot
We're into the second week of my personal challenge to Nitmos's stretchy-band love. So far, Nitmos is still an idiot. I am not yet a chiseled spectacle of man-art. However, I feel I've made some progress, as last night's chest, back and shoulders routine did not make me feel like a wad of spent chewing gum, as it did last week. So perhaps Nitmos is on his way to not being an idiot. But I wouldn't hold my breath.

[Drunkard's note: Hey guys, is it OK to call Nitmos an idiot now that he's back?]


Razz said...

Was NItmos gone?

Sun Runner said...

OK, what is up with that nutty picture? Was that the bar fight from your last visit to your local watering hole?

Now, see, you aren't allowed to crow about the status of your physique until someone else brings it up first. Then, boast away.

Marcy said...

What? I always thought calling him an idiot while he was away was a good thing.

I think I just barfed in my mouth a little at the thought of a small child licking Vanilla's toofbrush :P LOL JK!

Ian said...

It's always OK to call Nitmos an idiot, regardless of his location.

As for my wife licking my toothbrush, the joke's on her because I'm not going to brush my teeth until after the race is over.

Spike said...

Best of luck in your challenge against Vanilla. And well done on killing your 20M run.

I found your blog looking for other running blogs, and I'd like to add your blog to my list if you don't object.

Nitmos said...

Here I stop by for more Vanilla bashing and find myself once again in the crosshairs. Tom Cruise is not at all to whom I would compare you. I agree with you. That's awfully generous. I see you - both physically and emotionally - as more of a Don Rickles (the poor man's Buddy Hackett).

If I am no longer an idiot, I believe the next official classification level is Nitwit. please use it accordingly.

Jess said...

Yea I guess Nitmos is fair game now...sorry Nitmos.

chia said...

No chiseled man teats? Uh... you're so downgraded to second ex-husband status. I think Bea Arthur's still available.

B. Kramer said...

@Sarah - clearly you need some reading comprehension. I was not gloating, but lamenting.

@Xenia - oh thank you for permission to resume my war activities, Ms. Blogdom.

@Vanilla - I knew you'd think of something.

@Nitmos - don't worry, I'll let you know when you're a nitwit.

@Chia - just when I was thinking we had something special.

Sun Runner said...

clearly you need some reading comprehension.

Well, shit, then I guess my 680 on the SAT Verbal test (c. 1991) meant nothing since I clearly have no reading skillz.

(OK how lame is it that I remember my SAT scores...once a nerd, always a nerd, I guess.)