Vanilla has broken our agreement to run a clean campaign by comparing me to Tom Cruise. Though his ethics are sadly underdeveloped, I shall not retaliate with any sort derogatory comment on his equally underdeveloped manhood. I promised to run a clean campaign, and I will continue to refrain from bashing Vanilla for his lack of character, speed and intellect.
In fact, I'd like to warn Vanilla about the possible insurgents within his own home who might be conspiring against his health by licking his toothbrush. Good luck not getting violently ill.
We're into the second week of my personal challenge to Nitmos's stretchy-band love. So far, Nitmos is still an idiot. I am not yet a chiseled spectacle of man-art. However, I feel I've made some progress, as last night's chest, back and shoulders routine did not make me feel like a wad of spent chewing gum, as it did last week. So perhaps Nitmos is on his way to not being an idiot. But I wouldn't hold my breath.
[Drunkard's note: Hey guys, is it OK to call Nitmos an idiot now that he's back?]