Friday, October 3, 2008

Flashback Friday: Running Revisited

I have been good. I have not run one single step all week. Well, OK, I ran like three steps to get across the road once. But that's it.

I've been recovering from Akron's devastation. With lots of food, stretching, sleep, a walk or two, some beers, and some hot spiced cider spiked with Tullamore Dew.

However, recovery ends this weekend. Back on the horse! I'll run 10 miles and see how I feel. And then I will decide on my next move.

Back Talk
Thanks for all the suggestions for which marathon I should run next. Even though your suggestions were completely asinine. Let's take a look-see, shall we?

But first, let's review the requirements:
  • Race is within the next month (capped at Nov. 9)
  • Cheap overall trip (travel, lodging, race entry, etc.)
  • 8 hours from Akron
  • Not Oct. 18-19
Marcy suggested the Mohawk-Hudson River Marathon on Oct. 12 in Albany, New York. "It's flat and downhill. Very fast. It's really small though, and Albany is a dump but hey the course is speedy."

Answer: A dump, you say? Well, shucks, that sounds fantastic!

Vanilla voted for the marathon he's doing. "Well, it doesn't really meet any of your requirements, but I hear that all the cool people are going to be running the Arizona Rock 'n' Roll Marathon in January."

Answer: Well, you being there would make me look fast by comparison. But then I'd probably have to actually meet you in person. And that just sounds terrible.

Kristina said I should go for the Richmond Marathon on Nov. 15. "I ran it in '02. It's flat (one moderate hill in the middle), reasonable in size, and fairly well supported by spectators. 7 1/2 hrs. from Akron, according to Google maps."

Answer: You see, people, this is what I like to see. Kristina took the initiative to figure out my travel time. However, Richmond is a little later than I'd prefer. By Nov. 15, I want to be putting on my winter stout weight.

Raulgonemobile showed a little more consideration of the Viper's tastes by recommending the Wineglass Marathon on Oct. 5 in Corning, New York. "It's a flat course, at least. Approximately a 5 hour drive from Akron to Corning, $90 registration at this point."

Answer: Too soon.

Vava wants me to run the Niagara Falls Marathon on Oct. 26. "I'm running the 10k race before the marathon starts, and the course is uber flat - perfect for your sub 4:00 attempt! I think Niagara Falls isn't that far from Akron since my Dad used to drive to Akron all the time from here in Toronto (he's in the rubber industry) ..."

Answer: As ridiculous as it may sound, I don't have a passport. But I guess Sarah Palin waited to get hers too, so I'm not alone.

Adam suggested I just re-run Akron on my own. "I say harass your friends and family into setting up water stations some weekend, then follow the thin blue line and run Akron again. Even if you don't break 4 hours, you should finish first. And think of the excitement in dodging traffic."

Answer: Heck, if I'm really good, I'll recreate the cramping too!

Roisin says I should forget last year's debacle and do Chicago. "It HAS to be better than last year. And there are some excellent drinking opportunities."

Answer: Conveniently, registration for the Chicago Marathon is closed, so I don't have to think of a clever way to say no.

Ms. Dressler urged me to run back from my vacation destination.

Answer: Only if you never come back from yours.

The erratic epicurean thought of herself with the Outer Banks Marathon. "[R]unning near the beach! [G]o for it man! ([C]an i come along? [J]ust think of the NC bbq we could eat post race!!)"

Answer: Maybe when you find the shift key, I'll find the capital.

Sarah wanted to suggest the Detroit Marathon, but she knows how to follow rules. Xenia, however -- and not surprisingly -- does not. "But if you run Detroit you can see/ridicule/punch Nitmos. Isn't that reason enough?"

Answer: Except that I won't be anywhere near Detroit, thankfully.

Ms. V said I leave on a jet plane to run a marathon. "Um. You could FLY 8 hours, and do one in CA!"

Answer: Only if you get me Dodger tickets so I can watch former Cleveland Indians Casey Blake and Manny Ramirez in the playoffs.

Ted wants me to spend the rest of the year getting properly hydrated before tackling another marathon. "How about not thinking about marathon till next year? If I were you, I would be spending time in a hot tub and downing on a six pack of beer."

Answer: How a hot tub, six packs and a marathon?

Jess had an idea that I should run the Twin Cities Marathon. "I don't know if MN is within driving distance from Akron. To be honest, without a map, I'm not entirely sure where Akron is located within ... Ohio, right? Oh dear, I'm sure that somewhere, a geography teacher just died."

Answer: Well, yes, I could drive there (yes, from Ohio). In 12 hours. Or I could fly. For $1,100. But, sadly, registration is closed.

Laura is, as usual, completely off her rocker. "Flights from Akron to Albany the weekend of the Hudson Mohawk Marathon are only $230. I didn't check Cleveland but those might get even cheaper. Anyway, this leads me to the best idea yet:

"Fly to Albany on Friday, then hitch a ride with my mom from Albany to Hartford (90 mins), where you can join me in the Hartford Marathon (supposed to have an awesome post-race party) on Saturday. Try for a sub-4 time. If you fail, go back to Albany and run the Hudson Mohawk Marathon on Sunday with Marcy. TWO chances to reach your goal! How can you go wrong?"

Answer: Where to begin? Only $230? Only? Hitch a ride to Hartford? With your mom? (I can only imagine that conversation.) And pay $90 to race? And then if I don't get under four hours, race again the next day? In Albany? For $75? Yeah, that's cheap. For Warren Buffet! And even he would argue that my money would be better invested in a couple bottles of Bowmore Maltmen's Selection single malt Scotch.

And the Winner Is?
I was going to tally all the votes, but I didn't see the point. And this post is already egregiously long. If I feel good after my run this weekend, then I'm going to run the Towpath Marathon on Oct. 12. I've been wanting to run it. And unlike all your suggestions, this race actually fits all my criteria.

Happy Hour is just a short sub-desk nap away. Have a good weekend all. Run well and drink well. Cheers!


C said...

$1,100 to fly from OH to MN?! WTF! You could fly to Italy for less than that. Not that I'm inviting you. Stay away.

My mind blanked when I read you don't have a passport. I can't even fathom that. I have to carry around two of them.

Good luck with your 10-miler and have a great weekend.

Ian said...

Yeah, and I was lying when I said that all the cool people were running the AZ RNR marathon becaue it turns out that RazZDoodle is doing it.

Have a good weekend, and good luck on your 10.

S said...

How sad I wasn't incentive enough to run in Richmond.

But I won't hold it against you I suppose.

Good luck with 10-miler!

Marcy said...

I liked Laura's idea, homie! 2 chances. And not only that but you could've hung with the coolest chicks on the block ROFLMAO! (ok maybe 1 and that would be Laura, not I)

Good luck, I'm sure you'll do fabulous.

Unknown said...

Good luck this weekend especially your 10 miler. I will be near your hometown over the weekend. Look forward to do some running in the Hudson/Aurora area.

Sun Runner said...

I will never, ever forgive you for dissing Detroit so heartlessly as you did here. Nitmos and I shall reign supreme over Woodward Avenue in your absence. Good luck on your stupid Towpath Trail marathon, you, you, ugh.

Oh by the way, I am attending the first ever Michigan Brewing Company Customer Appreciation Party Extravaganza tomorrow. You just wish you were cool enough to be there, too. ;)

chia said...

Ya know, the Grand Rapids Marathon is on the 19th. So if you need another try with cheap lodging, GR would probably work. Only thing is, the course is a little "peaceful" if you get my drift.

chia said...

of course, I'll likely be doing Detroit... with all the cool runners ;-P

chia said...

Note to self: When playing "catch up" on blogs, go OLDEST to NEWEST. You look like less of an asshole that way. end notetoselfs

It's 5 a.m. here. And there is a screaming toddler. And I feel the makings of one great head cold coming on the night before my glory... Or lack thereof.

Forgive me for my insolence oh booze master :-P.

Vava said...

It's great you settled on a race. Can't wait to see how it goes, and I suspect it will be great. Good luck getting back into the running, and recovery is where the improvements occur (according to books I've read that seem reasonably trustworthy).

the erratic epicurean said...

what? me thinking only of myself? that is preposterous!