From Craigslist personals:
"I was streaking through the Diag Friday night at 2:15 am. Coming around the corner of State and Liberty, fast as a naked blur, I bumped into you and we both fell to the ground. I was a little upset with you at first, cuz I scratched my right butt cheek pretty bad, but I knew it was my fault. You said, "Nice New Balances," And all I could say was, "Thanks," with the adrenaline still rushing. In less awkward circumstances, I would have liked to talk to you. I had never run into a girl that fast or naked before... I didn't know how to respond so I helped you up quickly and kept running. Since my friends paid me $100 for making it to Kerrytown with just my socks, shoes, and a big smile, I'd like to take you on a date. You looked pretty fit so maybe you'd like to go for a run sometime. Hit me up! Bye! [sic]The clear benefit here if you are this person's missed connection is that you got an eyeful [I'M BLIND!!1!] of the goods -- or perhaps not-so-goods. Hopefully, the butt cheek has healed. Happy hunting. Love will find a way.
[Drunkard's note: Thanks to Gin for head's up.]