My running habits remain as patternly as ever. I have no direction. It pisses me off.
Some of you have noticed my increasing crankiness. I find that I'm taking myself too seriously. I'm sure it makes this blog a bore to read.
It is time to plow under this barren earth and sprout anew. Spring is here. A time for rebirth. Time for the cool gloaming to give rise to dewy warmth. And for this slithering one to molt its vituperate shell. It is time to let this dusty old drunk ride off on his barstool into the sunset. Look now to the east.
A Newark, Ohio, man has been charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated (OVI) after he crashed a motorized barstool and injured himself. The barstool was built from a riding lawn motor. The man told police his barstool-mobile can reach 38 mph -- no word on its fuel efficiency.
[Drunkard's note: Top image from someecards.com. Barstool-mobile from Gizmodo.]