Wednesday, December 17, 2008

My Boobs Hurt

Way back before I was improving the fashion stylings of one fellow runner I embarked on a quest to prove another one to be an idiot. And like all good quests, this one was abandoned a few weeks after it began.

The stretchy bands I purchased in the summer have lain dormant since, well, I'm not quite sure when it was the last time I used them other than last night before my four-mile run during the winter advisory that quickly resulted in a fine covering of thin but dense snow.

My core has been getting a solid workout from the inside with all the holiday-related consumption. I decided it was about time to counteract the bulging progress that has resulted from the dense dinners, holiday spirits, cheese balls, rumakis, chips and dips, cookies, chocolate pretzels, peanut butter pie, Ruggles sundae cones, et al.

As Lester Burnham might say, I wailed on my pecs and then I did my back abs. And as a result -- and as the title of this post already told you -- my boobs hurt. But they hurt so good.

Teammates, these times require extreme diligence! I hope more things you don't want read about will hurt in the coming weeks.

Mile Tracker 1,000: 62 miles to go.

12 comments:

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Achy man-teats - nothing to be ashamed of. It all depends on how you got them.

I worked out to get them: Good.

My cell-mate, Knuckles, thought my boobs looked purdy n perky last night: Bad.

If what really happened to you is the latter, there is no shame in reporting Knuckles to the warden.

"No" means "no", brother.

Ted said...

Ahem... breast implant ?? That might help. What was I thinking? Its irrelevant !

P.O.M. said...

At first glance I thought you said, "holiday-related constipation."

Then I started singing, "hurt so good, come on baby make it hurt so good."

Happy Wednesday.

tfh said...

None of my internal responses to this post are G-rated, or even PG-13, and since I know I can't begin to compete with Glaven in the adult comments department, I'm just going to say:

Good work.

And: my stretchy bands have been long abandoned, too.

Xenia said...

Sore boobs? Sounds like you're ovulating. Take some Midol.

Sarah said...

No pain, no gain, baby. Unless "gain" is not the desired end result here. At least for that particular body part.

I'm going to be returning to the chilly arms of Cleveland next week. Let me know if you want to get together at one of Chesterland's fine establishments that aren't shady Asian "massage parlors."

Nitmos said...

Keep on stretchy banding! It'll work for your core...or Vanilla will metaphorically eat his hat again.

Marcy said...

WOW what a coincidence! My hooters hurt too! I think my reason is PMS though :P

Ms. V. said...

Maybe you need the bro.

Vanilla said...

I guess my 100 pushups challenge was a good quest too then.

chia said...

Dude. If you were a chick you would so have a commentloadfull of rubbish offers to rub it out for you.

I cannot confirm nor deny the presence of free drinks to complement such efforts.

So I hear. From a friend.

Roisin said...

Mmmmmmm...Ruggles...that's some good shit.