Friday, September 19, 2008

Flashback Friday: Desnotathon

Finally, a run, 7 miles through the neighborhood, past Akron's Westside mansions, through Highland Square, up the main thoroughfare, across to part of the marathon route, up the bastard Garman hill and back home again, past more mansions. And for each of these landmarks, a snot rocket from each nostril.

Wednesday night, I took the whiskey cure and, last night, the running expelled the poisons that wrecked my body this week. The Viper is on the mend.

Although, the thigh reared its ugly head again. I was hoping the not running would fix it, but I guess I have to live with the pain for the time being. And then there was the slight matter of a tightness in the Rectus Abdominis area. Pain, really. Perhaps this is my long-hidden six pack trying to emerge. Or perhaps it was my liver trying to escape to a long-hidden six pack.

Back Talk
Wherein participation counts toward your final grade.

You guys had some real doozies to help cure my taper sickness.

First, Roisen ridiculously agreed with Xenia (who does that?), but then she made up for the gaffe by providing a recipe for a restorative elixir: "I agree with Xenia, whiskey is the ticket to recovery. In fact, my grand uncle Paddy (true story) swore by 'Fiskey' for getting him to 97 years.

"Recipe for Fiskey:
  • 6 oz Jamesons (or your favourite whiskey, I won't judge)
  • 1 tablespoon Honey
  • 8 oz hot water
  • Mix together and drink!
"Hey, he lived to be 97. It could work."

Answer: Your Uncle Paddy is a genius. (But what's with all the water?) I'm sure he would approve of my running hat. However, sorry to say that Bushmills is my favorite Irish whisky, but Jameson happens more often.

The mysterious ohionative dispensed some invaluable wisdom about getting over sickness and tapering: "Illness is the reason god invented the hot-tottie. Warm cider is always good for the soul, and even better when fortified with a little whiskey. But all that stuff is for kids, real drinkers just warm up the brandy and drink until they can't recall if they have a cold.

"As for the tapering: it sucks! but use it to your advantage and sleep as much as you can. You're better off taking that extra time off then going out for a crap run and just beating your' body down more.

"Other than that cry yourself a river build a bridge and get over it!"

Answer: sniffle ...

While most of you suggested what I can do for my sickness, AddictedToEndorphins suggested what I can do for others: "My theory to staying healthy during taper--carry around vitamin C and spike the drinks of those around you so that they stay healthy and you, in turn, stay healthy!"

Answer: How fiendish! Does it have to be vitamin C, though?

P.O.M., on the other hand, makes me paranoid: "It's all in your head, man. It's all in your head. Just the taper-madness, kinda like Acid."

Answer: Acid? Wait ... am I ... could this still be ... oh lord ... I think I'm starting to get the fear ...



Some of you keep commenting even though I told you to go read a book.

Big doesn't like my review rating system: "I'm sad the rating system lacks any obvious drinking reference, like single malt aged 20 years, or readability with a hangover."

Answer: The obvious drinking reference is that the rating system is based on a good pour. If I got 1 finger on the rocks, I'd toss it in the bartender's face. But 5 fingers, neat? Thank you, kindly! A good pour is universal. Good taste is subjective.

Laura is starting to notice the fine mess she just stepped into by signing up for the Akron Marathon: "Great, you're telling me I have to find and read a whole book in order to prepare for the marathon in ONE WEEK? Geez, isn't trying to get a >20 mile run in enough? And I just got an e-mail from the race director telling me I ought to do some hill training!"

Answer: You seem to be an able woman. But I'd worry less about the book and more about the hills. Did I fail to mention that the whole second half is uphill? Oops. And people worry about Boston's Heartbreak Hill ... pfffffffft!

Well, my dear little readers, Happy Hour is only a few short hours away. Have a fine weekend. Run well and drink well.

12 comments:

Marcy said...

So you're grading us now? Lovely :P

RazZDoodle said...

I'm with Marcy. I could give you a myriad of excuses as to why I didn't study. I hear them every day.

tfh said...

Glad the whiskey cure seems to be working its magical effects-- not on the thigh though? Perhaps it's time to start bathing in it. I recommend mixing with epsom salts, hot water, and honey. The Epsom Fiskey.

Vanilla said...

Rectus? It damn near killed us!

... or does that only work with Rectum?

Xenia said...

Thank you for returning to your obstinate, arrogant self once again. My world is now beginning to right itself.

We're being graded? If this is like your verification of lovliness, I'll pass. Or fail as the case may be.

Sarah said...

Happy Hour is only a few short hours away

For SOME people...sniff. Self-imposed non-Oktoberfest Friday is still a go, though I am wavering. No, no, I must stay strong!

bastard Garman hill

I never thought I would see the words "bastard" and "Garman" which is perilously close to "Garmin" in the same sentence! Are you sneakily profaning the holy name of Garmin (pbtn)? Blasphemer!

Hang in there, man. Only one more week.

Sarah said...

P.S. It's "restorative."

Just helping you stay sharp. ;)

Nitmos said...

Sounds like you are a real tight ass.

Viper said...

@ tfh: that is alcohol abuse.

@ sarah: good catch.

@ nitmos: what a coincidence, it sounds like you're a real jack ass.

Roisin said...

Glad the Fiskey worked. As I've tried it in the past, you can vary the amount of water. It's mostly there because, boiling whiskey is weird, and I think it helps with the honey or something like that.

Bushmills is a Northern drink, so I stick to Jamesons or Powers.

chia said...

There's Vitamin C in vodka... right?

Virginia Dressler said...

i always made my hot toddies with hot tea, lemon, honey and whiskey. But i do love Beckwith's cider + whiskey. Enough to knock a girl out for a good while!