Monday, August 25, 2008

The Thin Blue Line

Weeving throughout Akron like a drunkard fresh out of wine is a long, flirtatious blue line. If you are new to the city, you will wonder why it winks at you from the side of the road--though not if you're a marathoner.

If you follow that thin blue line, it will take you 26.2 miles from downtown, to the old working class neighborhood of Firestone Park, through the university, into one park and out another, to the western edge of the city, where you'll pass through the grounds of an old rubber baron's mansion, then return to the urban setting of the trendy Highland Square area, past my favorite local writer's house, back toward downtown to Canal Park, where you can imagine crossing home plate, which marks the finish line of the Akron Marathon. (The route also passes about 15 bars, probably more, but who's counting?)

That line is repainted every year. And last week, it received its new coat. The route is ready. And in five weeks, I will be too.

I ran 10 miles Sunday and felt about as fast as the escargot Jaques Chirac has or breakfast.

Top 10 Reasons for 10 Miles of Suckage
  1. Heat: 87 degrees
  2. Intake: Cheerios, soy milk, hard-boiled egg, leftover fajitas
  3. Nipple chaffage
  4. Missed opportunity for torso flaunting
  5. Persistence of slight ankle tweak
  6. My own Beijing smog
  7. Rain
  8. Dead sexy legs?
  9. Hydration plan: nil
  10. Perhaps there is reason it's called Rogue Dead Guy Ale

10 comments:

Marcy said...

Ouch!! Better break out those SpongeBob Bandaids for the nips, homie!

Ms. V. said...

You DO know that Akron is the birthplace of Alcoholics Anonymous, right?

Just in case you wanted to take your booze hounds on the road.

Ha.

Vava said...

Akron also gave us Chrissy Hynde of The Pretenders, so it can't be all bad! Nice running!

Big said...

I don't understand, does the blue line go through the 15 (or so) bars, or just past them? That would seem to make a big difference.

Roisin said...

Great weather all over the Midwest this past weekend it seems. At least you got it taken care of!!

Nitmos said...

5 weeks to go!? Holy cripes. You must be starting to cut back on your boozing.

Adam said...

But why is the blue line needed? Is Akron the Bermuda triangle of marathons? Do countless runners inexplicably go missing without the line's guidance? And why hasn't someone repainted the line to guide everyone off the course?

Vanilla said...

I don't think you're allowed to use heat, rain and lack of hydration as excuses at the same time. It just seems like that is a contradiction.

Ted said...

Akron??? The birthplace of rubber tires - Goodyear! Does the road feel rubbery? Hmmm, I wonder!

Laura said...

I like Adam's idea - you should totally repaint it!