On my past two posts, I've gotten some flack about the Akron Marathon, which has really bunched up my panties in an uncomfortable way.
In particular, some supercilious new reader commented on Friday's post, "Akron. A marathon in Akron? Why?"
Well, I'll tell you why, Ms. Jerky Pants. And I'll tell you with another list because that's how creative I am.
10 Somethings Why a Marathon in Akron
- I live in Akron, duh!
- My boss pays my entry fee
- Do you get the Goodyear blimp flying over your marathon?
- The great course support helps to avoid pants-shitting
- I've already mentioned the route, but you can see for yourself
- Superman that, yo!
- I don't want to get a DUI by driving some place else to run
- Similarly, I don't want a DUI from driving back after post race celebrations
- I like free shoes
- Don't trust me? How about Runner's World?
Back Talk: Special Blue Line Edition
There was plenty to say about Monday's post.
That same supercilious Ms. V from above also asks: "You DO know that Akron is the birthplace of Alcoholics Anonymous, right?"
Answer: Do you think I fell off the wagon yesterday?
Vava says: "Akron also gave us Chrissy Hynde of The Pretenders, so it can't be all bad!"
Answer: Chrissy Hynde can take her fancy restaurant and dive off the All-American Bridge for all I care.
[Drunkard's note: I take offense to her characterization of people in Akron and Northeast Ohio. Oh, wait, you were saying something in support of Akron ...]
Big asks: "I don't understand, does the blue line go through the 15 (or so) bars, or just past them? That would seem to make a big difference."
Answer: It depends on the runner.
Adam asks: "But why is the blue line needed? Is Akron the Bermuda triangle of marathons? Do countless runners inexplicably go missing without the line's guidance? And why hasn't someone repainted the line to guide everyone off the course?"
Answer: Apparently, marathoners are directionally challenged. Even the Olympics had a blue line.