Monday, July 14, 2008

Soused, Soaked, Smashed and Scorched

The alternate title of this post was "Drunk, Drenched and Dumb," but it didn't quite convey the entirety of the weekend.

Ever since my hangover running injury in March, I've been fairly cautious about my post-binge mileage. After a successful Happy Hour of Oberon and Session on Friday, I made sure to sleep off the effects the next day instead of trying to bat away the cobwebs and get out the door for my LSD, a 16-miler.

Instead I let the sun climb to its apex before I headed out.

You no doubt think me stupid now, but let me tell you about the Doomsday Cloud that was moving in from the southwestern sky. Well, I guess I just did. I was sure that the Apocalypse was nigh, but I figured it might cool me off.

Five and a half miles into the run, it started to sprinkle. I thought, This isn't too bad. Although I am not a superstitious person, my next immediate thought was, Knock on wood. I suppose I could have rapped my knuckles on one of the trees along the park path, but I didn't. The black cloud had migrated directly overhead.

During the sixth mile, I passed a rather urgent walker who said, "It looks like we might get a little wet. ... I know I will." Seven seconds later the cloud burst. I never saw that man again.

Apparently, I may have violated some etiquette, but I was glad I chose not to wear a shirt on Saturday. A wet shirt would have wreaked carnage on my poor, innocent nipples. My feet are what I was afraid of damaging.

The last time I ran with severely wet shoes, I developed a monster blister. Thankfully, my feet survived for one more day, but I felt like I was running with water beds lashed to my ankles. Each step for the next 10 miles was a heavy slosh.

The rain scared off the wimps and made me feel like a super hero. As I made my second lap on this particular trail, I gave all the runners I had already passed a grotesque gratuitous smile, indicating my superior perseverance. Oh yes, you pansies, I think I'll knock out another eight miles.

Particularly satisfying was passing two gentlemen for the third time. (Technically, it was the fourth time if you count the time I re-passed them after a bathroom break I took shortly after passing them the first time.) They had taken shelter under a park directory. I must have shamed them into running again because they weren't too far behind me after I turned around and passed them the final time.

After mile 10, I didn't see another soul until the last two miles when the rain had stopped. It was serene.

To ease the lactic acid burning in my legs, I proceeded directly to my friends' summer party and proved the fortitude of my liver while fending off many pesky brain cells, which had grown strong in number but were viciously quashed. Not one non-alcoholic beverage entered my body for the next 24 hours.

In the final act of this triumphant tale, I managed to wake up on Sunday just in time to drive to my parents' and pick up my father for what we thought might be a dismal baseball game between Cleveland, which had recently broken an historically bad 10-game losing streak, and Tampa Bay, which had entered the four-game series as the best team in baseball.

Somehow Cleveland had already beaten Tampa Bay three times, and we were sure this game would send us to the exits by the third inning. No so! Cleveland sucker-punched the Rays with another win and knocked 'em out of first place. (You're welcome, Boston. I still don't like you.)

It was a gorgeous day to be at the ballpark with my dad and brother, drinking Great Lakes Dortmunder Gold and eating ice cream. However, like a moron, I wore flip-flops and seared the tops of my feet like a grillmaster. Beer-battered man's feet, anyone? Tomorrow's speedwork should be a ball!



Nitmos said...

Shelter under a park directory? It should have been a rock that they crawled under. For shame. Way to battle the elements and your brain cells.

S said...

Way to make me feel shame for not running in the rain this morning. Enjoy the speedwork with the toasted feet. The pain will just make you go faster :-)

Ian said...

I love running in the rain. As for Cleveland, thanks for the assistance with the Rays, you've got a nice 4 game win streak going into the break. 12 more and you'll be at .500

C said...

Back at you on the nudity.

So, was the game anything like in the movie Major League? That's pretty much all I know about the Indians. So obviously that totals nothing.

Marcy said...

I've gotta disagree with Mr Lance's blog. Yes, I've seen many o men that should not have their shirts off while running, but I've also seen some "Oh yes please" ones out there too. And if they want to flaunt it (and have the goods to do so) I'm n.o.t complaining :P

Sun Runner said...

1. Bell's Oberon is among my top five favorite beers. I could drink an entire six-pack in one sitting (and, come to think of it, I believe I did one time...)

2. If that was the same storm that blew through Erie, Pennsylvania, where I was enjoying one (of an eventual three) Railbender Ales from Erie Brewing Company at a dockside restaurant (we decided to be adventurous and leave the warm embrace of I-90 freeway fast food hell for dinner) then I salute you for being hard-core (or...touched in the head..?) enough to remain outdoors during that downpour.

3. Even I had enough sense in my head to put sunscreen on the tops of my bare feet on the first couple of days of my Fabulous Beach Vacation. Though, as one can see from my new profile picture, I clearly did not continue to apply the 30 SPF for much longer. Somewhere among my Dutch, Swedish, and German pasty white European genes is something else that allows me to brown up nicely like a juicy steak.

4. The Indians...hey, didn't they just trade C.C. Sabathia?

Steve Stenzel said...

Nice wet run!! And I don't know what's going on with Cleveland....

Teacher Pursuits said...

GO CLEVELAND!! (What I really mean is "Go Sox" but seeing as this is your blog (which is great) and my first comment on your blog, I'll respect your disgust with Boston but I was at Fenway on Sunday when Cleveland yet again beat the Rays and the Sox beat the Orioles to move into first... and Cleveland was easily the second favorite team in the house!) Indeed, thank you. :)

P.O.M. said...

Sounds like my 4th of July 16-miler. No wonder I felt like shit for a week.