Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Open Letter to That Guy

Look, you can't just go around passing people without any retribution, Mr. Passed Me Right When I'm About Set Some Land Speed Records.

OK, I admit it. I was going a little slow on that downhill. But as you could clearly see it was still within the first mile on the trail. If you knew anything at all about running, that is what we call a warm-up mile. The next half-mile you would've been hard-pressed to pass me at my sub-8:00 mile pace.

If I wanted to, I could have passed you immediately after you passed me. But instead I chose to stay at your heels until you chickened out and turned around. I hope you learned your lesson.

Heart,
Viper

P.S., Yes, that was a smirk you saw on my face as I headed out a mile farther before turning back.

P.P.S., I appreciated your acceleration to separate from me on that hill 300 feet from where you quit. Otherwise I would have run up your back when you slowed down, which would have looked something like this ...
"Halp! Halp! Mai aksellerayshunz dont go fastur!"

7 comments:

Xenia said...

After reading the title, I thought you were referring to Vanilla. Guess not.

I love that you ended the letter with 'heart'. How kind of you.

Xenia said...

Oops! Forgot to say...

Happy early birthday!

Vanilla said...

When I get passed on the trail (rarely happens) I always rationalize it by telling myself that I'm running further than that guy was.

Sarah said...

OK, see, the next thing that has to happen is you pass someone who's riding a bicycle. Not stopped on the side of the path or first day without training wheels kind of riding but actually riding.

Which is what I did yesterday morning.

Either I'm stupendously fast or she was stupendously slow. I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle and also may have something to do with the fact that she was also managing to walk (run?) her dog on a leash at the same time, which looked like a situation with the potential for disaster if you ask me. "Oooooh, a squirrel!" *LUNGE* *CRASH* "AIIIEEEEE!"

But I still passed her. It rocked.

Viper said...

Sarah, are you kidding? From your comments, I know you're familiar with the Towpath. It's easy to pass bikers when they're all like 'Ooooh look at the blue herons!'

Pfft! Nature!

Sarah said...

Confession: I am one of those people. I screeched to a halt while biking on the Towpath when I saw a green heron by the river. It was awesome. Only two things will make me stop in my tracks: cool birds and cool rocks.

Laura said...

I hate passing people for exactly the reason that I'm afraid they'll pass me later and I'll feel guilty.

Sarah, I can't believe you passed a biker - that's amazing!