Thursday, June 12, 2008

Thoughtless Thursday

Even after some focused thinking, I have constipation of the cerebral cortex. No matter how hard I try I just can't get anything to drop. I promise at the end of this post you will know why today I have poop on my mind. And now, Team Booze Hounds is proud to present its semi-regular link dump:

Coincidentally, the last link was not the first instance of poop today.

[Drunkard's note: Be warned, I might use naughty words.]

Setting: Office kitchen area, near coffee pot and water cooler

Time: In the morning, when did you think?

Scene: Viper is making coffee when a coworker comes in with a gallon jug of some foul-smelling concoction that she claims will cleanse her body if she doesn't eat and drinks this so-called lemonade for eight days straight.

Me: WTF is that?
Her: Don't laugh. It's supposed to clean out my system.
Me: Will it make you take big shits?
Her: Actually, no, I have to take laxatives.
Me: Seems like something that's supposed to clean you out should make you take big shits?
Her: It's supposed to get rid of toxins.
Me: That's what shitting does.

Now, I hear her gag every time she takes a sip. I love exotic cures.

OK, kiddies, show and tell is over. Back to business.

p00p!

9 comments:

Xenia said...

Spooky. Poop came up in a conversation I had today too. I need to look into the potential uses of transport-animal poop in ancient cities. The topic is going to end up being a small section or at the very least a footnote in my dissertation. I'm not joking.

Ted said...

Ahhhh, the best place to do this is in any Barnes and Noble bookstore. It always does that to me. I wonder why???

Vanilla said...

Cleaning the toxins out of your system? Here's an idea, don't put toxins into your system in the first place.

Laura said...

I've read a bunch about those cleanses, and when you read the info, it always sounds like a good idea. I consider myself pretty well-read about diet/nutrition stuff (at least more so than most people), and I like the idea of cleaning all the junk out of your body every few years. However, I know that medically they're actually terrible for you, and don't worry, I'm not going to try them. But just wanted to say I see how someone could get sucked in.

Thanks for the link!

P.O.M. said...

Poop must be on everybody's minds today! That and "Douche bag." Themes of the week.

Nitmos said...

I find a nice large fudge brownie usually does the trick. Maybe the visual input creates an automatic physical output? Not sure. I eat while sitting on the throne just to be sure.

Marcy said...

I'm with you homie! If poop doesn't take it out, then I don't know what does.

chia said...

Sucking down lemons and cayenne pepper only makes you notice you're pooping.

Although I have the deepest respect for fire ass, anyone that buys into that crap is ridiculous.

Sarah said...

Ya know, I had to do this thing called a "bowel prep" before I had surgery last year. It was probably the most unpleasant, ghastly, wretched thing that's ever happened to my body, and that includes the surgery I had the next day. I cannot even begin to imagine doing it ON PURPOSE. If I never have to do a bowel prep again for the rest of my life I will be very happy.