Thursday, May 22, 2008

Neither Rain, Nor Sleat, Nor Death!

The boozeriffic marathon training plan is still in the workshop. The Cleveland Half Marathon is behind us. Now, it's time to really hurt myself ramp up the mileage. My dear readers, there are only a four weeks until the Summer Solstice.

Perhaps you have shamefully forgotten what that means.

Back in February, when I had a witch's tits and a well-digger's ass, I thought ahead to the coming warm season and conjured the Summer Solstice Challenge. Ah yes, it's all coming back you! You remember this:

The longest run on the longest day.

This out and back is through the Ohio & Erie Canal Towpath. Yes, I know, it looks -- looks!?! -- like a long way. And there's no conceivable way that I can actually train for this distance in four weeks. Well, no matter, I'm going to do it anyway.

As my Booze Hound comrade said, quoting T.S. Eliot, "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

During the past few days I've been working on a supply list for the run:
  • Backpack -- anybody have a suggestion for a quality, light and minimal option?
  • Water -- luckily there's that river nearby.
  • Energy bars/gels -- suppose any company wants to sponsor the Challenge?
  • Pretzels -- really salty ones!
  • Banana Bread -- prepared special! Thanks, ee!
  • Sunscreen -- SPF Brazilian!
  • Flask -- in case of injury or loss of confidence.
  • Watch -- I know you'll want to see my wicked-fast splits.
  • Change of clothes -- Momma doesn't want the paramedics to find me with dirty undies!
  • Coffins Just kick dirt over me ...
Any other suggestions are welcome.

In preparation, I'll run three miles tonight for my first run since Cleveland. Hey, that's 7.5 percent of the Challenge! I'm on my way.

Run well and drink well, teammates! Or as they say in Italy, Corri bene e bevi bene!

[Drunkard's note: This Booze Hounds proverb has been translated into its first foreign language thanks to Xenia.]


Laura said...

Don't bring the flask with you. Put one with a little bit of alcohol at the turnaround spot, so you have to run to get to it, but not enough that you can just stay there and party. Then get someone to build a bar/bring a whole bunch of booze to the finish line. There is nothing to motivate you more than booze at the finish!

Sun Runner said...

OK, whoa. I have traveled the length of the Towpath Trail but that was on a bike and I still felt like I was going to die at the end. Seriously, my ass has never hurt so much in my entire life. Kudos to you for even thinking about attempting to run/walk the path. That's awesome.

Don't forget about the restaurant/shops/whatever in Peninsula! Winking Lizard Tavern, perfect for a midday, uh, refueling!

Sun Runner said...

P.S. Here's some more boozy Italian for you:

Godiam la tazza e il cantico
La notte abbella e il riso;
In questo paradiso
Ne scopra il nuovo dì.

(Let's take our pleasure
Of wine and
Singing and mirth
Till the new day
Dawns on us in paradise.)

Verdi, La Traviata, Act I.

P.O.M. said...

That's flippin' crazy.

chia said...

Jesus, is that why they call it "liquid courage."

TS Eliot is the man.


C said...

Holy crap, you're insane!

Moving on, here are my recommendations:
-hydration pack in a VERY light weight backpack. The less to chafe you with, my dear.
-mobile with one-touch emergency dialing (for that split second you have right before you pass out on the trail)
-a paper or bracelet or something you can write on telling the person who finds your body what you were attempting to do in the first place so they can help you properly.

btw, thanks for the link. And the new banana bread recipe. Looks good.

Marcy said...

YYYEEEEEEEE HHHHHAAAWWW!! A camera because we want to see this action. You're the man!

Nitmos said...

Yes, you forgot your Crazy Pills on your list. Or, at the very least, some Vicodin. It's a good mixer I hear.

Anonymous said...

Awesome! I would add on a few Advil and an electrolyte drink (Nuun tablets are the best. They are easy to carry and you just have to add vodka.) Oh I second the camera idea. Best of luck.

Razz said...

how 'bout a map, breadcrumbs, and a friggin' sherpa?