Monday, January 5, 2009

New Year Reset

Last year, my first post of 2008 featured a few lovely ladies and their artfully painted dairy airs derrieres, which may or may not be NSFW. However, during the year, I have come to realize that most of my readers -- at least most of those who comment -- are women. So, I'm doing something different for 2009.

Gentlemen, I apologize. Refer to the link above. Ladies, I give you this: a nice, big, red cock!

Little Jerry Seinfeld, is that you?

Cockadoodle do! Welcome to 2009!

It feels like ages since my last post, which was a bit lean on the details of my finally reaching 1,000 miles, on the nose and not one inch more.

Tuesday night, I ran a comfortable seven miles and felt confident about finishing the year with an eight-miler on Wednesday. While I was sleeping, however, the Cold Miser reared his icicley head and dropped a shock-and-awing three inches of snow.

Tuesday was mild and there wasn't a speck of snow on the ground, nor a hint of snow-to-be when I went to bed. Then, P00F! Hello, snow! Not the worst I've seen, but a surprise nonetheless. The quick change in weather made for a slushy undercoating to the powdery snow cover on New Year's Eve. Good thing I got those YakTrax.

I was blazing a trail for the first mile, but then I discovered I wasn't the only asshole out there as I passed another runner going the opposite way, then several walkers with their dogs, and even a bicyclist who was just starting out when I was finishing.

My beard was full of icicles at the end, and I hoped it wasn't frozen snot. But it felt good to achieve one last goal to finish 2008 for a solid 50 percent on the year's scorecard. Now, I guess it's time to map out 2009.

However, I have no New Year's resolutions to post. I have no goals set for the year. In fact, I haven't run a single step this year. Ever since 2008 ended, I've been hibernating. (And Johnnie Walker-ing and Korbel-ing and ouzo-ing and Riesling-ing and brandy-ing ... and so on.)

2009 has been great so far!


Marcy said...

No resolutions, no goals? It's the only way to roll ;-)

Al's CL Reviews said...

My resolution has nothing to do with running or losing weight. I just want to floss my teeth at least 5 times a week. Exciting, I know!

Congrats again on the 1000 miles.

Ian said...

Congrats on the 1000 miles again, although I'm pretty sure that a 50% on your scorecard is still an 'F'.

I don't grade my year based on hard goals and percentages so I'm giving myself a grade of winking smilie face: ;)

Jess said...

I hope you're not thinking of entering Little Jerry in a cock fight!

Good job on not setting any resoltuions or goals! Apathy is the new black.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Yes, I also. With the congrats. Offered again. W/r/t the 1K miles.

These parts of the B. Sphere were unknown to me when you posted your 1st last year (the Year of The Depend Adult Undergarment). A belated thanks for the comely @$$es in that one.

As for the red cock you now post in this, the Year of Poultry Products from the American Heartland: I for one won't touch it.

joyRuN said...

A beard, eh?

That's an impressive amount of boozing when we're only 5 days into 2009.

Jess said...

Congrats again on reaching the 1,000 miles. That's pretty damn impressive.

Glad you've started 2009 in a heavily boozed manner. We've come to expect nothing less.

tfh said...

I'm with JoyRuN. Are we talking mall Santa Claus beard? Food-caught-in-it beard? Pin-it-up-with-a-bobby pin-the-way-the-Sikh-cabdriver-once-showed-me beard?

I hope so. That would be even sexier than the red cock.

Nitmos said...

I knew you were a lumberjack.

Congrats on the 1000. I only got to 1054 myself which, if my math is correct, is slightly more than you.

Vava said...

Congratulations on reaching the 1000 mile mark!

X-Country2 said...

A beard is such a slippery slope. It tips pretty quick from "sexy stubble" to "Kenau sketch". Tough call.

Unknown said...

Congrats dude for making 1,000 mile. Now, you can think of a new goal of reaching 1,500 this year??

I don't like making resolution beside running. By the third week of January, it's history!

C said...

Ouzo. Oy. I haven't had that since I was 15. Guess it doesn't help that I don't like black licorice.

S said...

At least when you have no goals, you're never disappointed when you don't reach them. :-) Congrats on the 1000 miles and thanks for the lovely cock. :-)

Ms. V. said...

You have a beard? And, here I thought you were this clean shaven young thing.

Funny how the internet does that.

Love the Jerry Seinfeld of my favorite episodes!

chia said...

Did someone say Cock and Reisling?

Dayum, those are my two secret NY resolutions!

Rock on!

chia said...

I am just kidding... I'm more of a fan of Pinot Noir.

nwgdc said...

Wait...a beard? Huh?

I don't believe it.

Happy 2009!!!

Anonymous said...

Hmm, drinking instead of running... I like that as a 2009 resolution. May have to change mine.

And a beard, well, that ends that blogfatuation. Guess I need to find someone else ;o)

Aileen said...

Cock and Johnny Walker? Sounds like a Saturday night.

the erratic epicurean said...

i thought you posted that photo so you didn't have to say, "hey, look at me. i'm a cock."

the erratic epicurean said...

i also like how some of your female readers are turned off by the fact that you said you had a beard.

hear this blog readers, the viper looks very nice with a beard. it hides his ugly mug!

Carolina John said...

I gotta say i like your big red cock. it's purrty.

have a great year!

Reluctant Runner said...

Sophomoric cock double-entendre + Seinfeld reference: you may just be my new favourite blogger.