It's not supposed to warm up to zero degrees until afternoon today. I have run a grand total of three miles this week -- nine this year. The last time it was above zero when I was able to run? You guessed it: last Monday, when I trudged through the snow.
Cleveland meteorologist Dick "In Goddard We Trust" Goddard says it should get warm again (as in, reach 20 degrees) on Sunday. I'll believe it when I feel my toes again, and then maybe I'll run.
Martini tried to goad me into running this morning before work, but I told him I'd see him in hell before that happened. After all, it's warmer there and I could run any time I wanted.
[Drunkard's note: That is, the hell of biblical fame, not Hell, Michigan, where it is not warmer than here. And yes, I've been there.]
I haven't heard from Martini today. I can only imagine his fate. Some future society will undoubtedly discover his ice-encased body on the banks of the Cuyahoga River where there was once a bike and hike trail.
"It appears this primitive species ran on pure ethyl alcohol," the future equivalent of archeologists will mistakenly say when they discover that the Martini-cicle's innards were already preserved in booze long before the body was frozen. "And from the looks of this ancient timing device, his mile pace was quite slow. No wonder he's extinct."
Meanwhile, I heard that some of you (and you) are running the P.F. Chang's Rock 'n' Roll Arizona Marathon this weekend. I also hear that you get to see Smash Mouth there. Boy, that sucks. I'd complain to the organizers. Isn't running a marathon is punishment enough for one day? Good luck Vanilla and Razz and whomever else. I hope it's a hell of a lot warmer in Arizona than it is in Colorado and Nebraska.
Wherein my answers are questions.
Sarah uses some fuzzy math to defame Baltika: "51 ounces of beer for $2.79 works out to beer that is worth less than six cents an ounce ($0.0547/ounce, to be exact). That's some mighty cheap beer. I'm surprised it tasted like anything at all. Where's your beer integrity, man?"
Answer: Have you never heard the expression "don't knock it until you try it"? Cheap does not equal bad.
Turi has some advice about running in this muck: "I used 'screwed shoes' a couple weeks ago for the first time -- 20 percent slush, 80 percent concrete, and they were fine. Only slippery on manhole covers."
Answer: What do "screwed shoes" have to do with anything? I was asking about "YakTrax." And please, keep the slippery manhole talk to your own blog, pervert.
Happy Hour is nearly upon us. Have a fine weekend. Stay warm with hooch. Remember, good booze will not freeze. Run well and drink well. Cheers!