Tuesday, November 11, 2008

In Need of a P.O. Box

First, Xenia randomly selects me as a winner of her semi-often quiz so she can send me gifts.

Then my plan to break 1,000 miles this year inspires Brooke to send me Abita beer if I do it.

And then MCM Mama joins this worthy cause by offering a hard to find selection or something local (to where exactly, I don't know).

Nic gets on board, challenging me to run 1,005 miles for a Nut Brown ale with the hope that I'm running on New Year's Eve, which is no problem because I did that last year (warning: possibly NSFW asses).

Ms. V won't send me beer (pfft!), but she will send me almonds, which is OK because I like nuts.

These offers are so enticing. I like gifts, especially consumable gifts, and intoxicating consumable gifts even moreso. But then my Viper sense tingles -- and coincidentally causes me to slur my speach -- and I think, This is how Ted Kaczinsky got started!

Thankfully, I know I'm just being cautious paranoid. To get over that, I will now tell you my address. Please mail all gifts to:
The Viper
Mile 23, Akron Marathon
Akron, Ohio
44303

Beware of Pumpkin Guts
Day One of the Viper's Winter Cool Down Running Plan was a success. It felt good to get back out there after a weeklong layoff. However, I almost slipped on my ass. I nearly turned an ankle. And I just about stubbed my toe.

Ladies and gentlemen -- and you regular readers too -- please watch where you're running. It seems that this time of year is when certain ne'er do wells enjoy smashing pumkins. Literally smashing pumpkins, not the 1990s band you should have outgrown by now.

[Drunkard's note: I know Smashing Pumpkins made music later than the 1990s, but it wasn't good music.]

13 comments:

Sarah said...

You can't have my Stone Bitter Chocolate Oatmeal Stout because I drank it last night (all 22 ounces of it) and while it was one of the most delicious things I've ever tasted, at 9.5% ABV it pretty much knocked me on my ass (much like slipping in splattered pumpkin guts) and continues to do so this morning, though the knocking is centered in my frontal lobe.

Someday, however, on one of my trips to Cleveland, I will track you down and buy you a beer.

RazZDoodle said...

whoa whoa whoa.....Smashing Pumpkins had some decent stuff *before* Siamese Dream. The stuff after SD was/is suspect at best.

Alas, I have nothing to give you. Maybe a side of Husker beef.

Xenia said...

Ah, the delusions of men. How amusing.

Haven't you ever heard the saying 'beware of Greeks bearing gifts'?

Hope you don't have a weak immune system. That would be bad.

Sarah said...

P.S. Here's a gift you can enjoy now: Department of Eagles.

nwgdc said...

Bad memories of Smashing Pumpkins...early teen years are hard enough without their depressing music on every radio station.

Vanilla said...

You don't need a PO Box, just give out a nearby neighbor's address and rifle through their mail on a semi-regular basis.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Here in NJ, we've been looking for a place to ship our toxic sludge. So ... Thanks from a Grateful (and Eerily Green-Glowing) Garden State!

Ms. V. said...

http://www.aldenteblog.com/2008/11/beer-the-new-an.html
Now, another reason for you to drink.

I send almonds from your sober friend in the west. We're not slipping on our asses just yet. That happens in February.

LOL on the Mile 23. Isn't that where you officially tanked?

(WTG on getting some Husker beef from Razz!!)

Nitmos said...

Don't worry, I'm not sending you anything. I got a distinct Teddy K vibe from you right from the get go. Stop referring to your thoughts as a "manifesto".

Jess said...

I like how Friday is reserved for Happy Hour. It's one thing to run while hungover, but to run while drunk, well, that has "accident" written all over it. I ran once, I believe it was Christmas Eve 2007, whilst intoxicated and it was not pretty.

chia said...

I had a package delivered to "chia" at my favorite pub down the street. I forgot to tell them to expect it... but they still handed it to me since they just kind of "figured" it was me LOL.

Watch out for wet rotting leaves too... those kick my ass everytime.

Run and drink well mis amigo.

S said...

I'm impressed you're at least running again. I'm working on week two of no running...it's apparently going great. Sigh. Stupid race this Saturday to break the non-running spell.

MCM Mama said...

Local to the Marine Corp Marathon. That should give you some idea what beers are available to me.

My problem these days is the darned leaves. And the darned leaf blowers...