Thursday, October 9, 2008

Breathing Exercises, Part 4

All this breathing over the past week has saturated my red blood cells with oxygen. During some of those deep lung breaths, I've felt the faint tinges of euphoria. This oxygen is some good shit. I'm as calm as a Hindu cow.



[Drunkard's note: There has been a lot of bovine talk around the innernets, but, as you can see, our cows are much more mellow in Ohio. Not like those terrorist insurgent calves they have up there in Michigan.]

Two-Thirds Majority
After deciding to run the Towpath Marathon and exposing my goals, I have finally settled on a strategy for race day. I will attempt a negative split by running the first two-thirds of the race comfortably and then pushing my pace to the finish -- the way I planned at the Buckeye Half Marathon last month.

As Nitmos pointed out in yesterday's comments and as the Runner's World article linked above suggests, you have to practice negative splits to run them well in races. It's hard to ignore this bull shit these claims.

But ignore them I will.

Because that's just like their opinion, man, and there are a lot of ins and a lot of outs to this whole marathon running thing, and just because someone thinks one thing will work, you know, it doesn't necessarily mean it will for like every single person who runs a marathon, and stuff, and anyways, I mean, negative splits are totally just a state of mind, and so like basically what I'm saying is, I do what I want.

Three-Mile Preparation
So last night, what I did was employ the two-thirds strategy on my final marathon trainer, a three-mile tempo run to get my mind right. I ran easy for the first two miles and then picked up the pace and increased my arm swing and just let it go for that last mile with the intention of finishing at my marathon pace goal of 9:10 per mile. The result: 27:20 (9:07 per mile). All right.

Breathe IN ... hold it ... ahhhh ... mmm ... huh-hnng ... duuuuude ... I'm totally feeling high and confident right now.

13 comments:

tfh said...

Ah, the "we're all individuals and what doesn't work for everybody else will very likely work for me" argument is one of my favorites!

Surely the practice part of negative splits is mostly mental. May the calm feeling continue.

RazZDoodle said...

duuuude! You need to get a microwave burrito or something, mannnnnn. You're probably jonesin' after all the O2.

Sarah said...

I'm beginning to wonder if you should have enrolled yourself in a Lamaze class. Will tomorrow bring breathing exercises part 5? You know, if you hyperventilate and then choke yourself, you can make yourself faint...

Also, you might want to reread your post...very carefully. Not many people run maratons. Tons of marathons, maybe...but not the other way around. ;)

Viper said...

Don't breathe and write, kids. Thanks, Sarah.

Blyfinn said...

Wow this made me totally relaxed. I think I will try to lock the door to my office and take a quick power nap.

Sarah said...

I'm just here to help in my highly irritating way. We can't have anyone from the North Coast looking less than his best, can we? LOL!

Vanilla said...

I am Viper's lungs...

Nitmos said...

This post of yours really ties the room together.

Anybody seen my White Russian?

Kick ass.

Marcy said...

Rock out homie!

Ted said...

Calm as a Hindu cow??? LOLLL !!

Roisin said...

You will beat those opinions into submission. Beat them, I say!

Vava said...

It's really too bad that something as great as "negative split" can't be referred to in a more positive way. Let's start calling it "positive split". So, here's hoping your marathon is a positive split!

Brooke said...

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