Monday, August 20, 2007

Booze + Flash Floods = 0 Miles

The booze and rain drenched weekend washed out my planned 20-miler.

The main obstacle was an overnight camp-out and graduation party Saturday for a couple friends who finished their masters degrees this summer. I could do my usual route either Saturday morning or Sunday night. The miracle of Google maps helped me find a route from the campsite if I wanted to run Sunday morning. All these grand plans, panned as the booze flowed well and often.

Friday happy hour drinking nixed Saturday morning. A 3 p.m. to pass out shift and the onset of another damned late summer Midwest monsoon negated any activity Sunday. Maybe today? Probably not 20 miles. Not enough daylight or desire after a full day of work. But maybe a three-hour run. Or maybe not a full day of work.

First Run
I broke the cherry on my new New Balance. Delightful. I'm thinking I might donate my Asics to a charity after the marathon. Just because I don't like them doesn't mean someone else won't.

Booze News
Those kooks in California apparently have no idea what "distilled spirits" means. The California Board of Equalization (what does that even mean?) voted that the likes of Mike's Hard Lemonade, Smirnoff Ice and Bacardi Silver--wine coolers, essentially--should be classified as distilled spirits. Speak Out California, a coalition of so-called progressives, calls the move a victory over booze peddlers, who market these sugar-filled, fruity catastrophes toward younger drinkers.

"[Booze manufacturers] diabolically concocted a way to make liquor--which normally tastes yucky to kids--appeal to young palates," writes Rosemary Shahan, a board member of Speak Out and a self-righteous prig if I ever saw one. The group argues that these "alcopops" (the first time I've heard the term) are meant for teenagers. The new tax classification limits where these beverages can be sold, making these diabolic beverages less available to underage drinkers.

While I don't contend that underage drinkers should have easier access to these beverages, this ruling shows a complete disregard for proper boozing. Now, this vomit juice shares the same classification as my beloved Laphroaig? I don't think so. These are clearly diluted spirits, which in my state are available at grocery stores just like these "alcopops." At most, they should be classified as malt liquors.

I can't believe this group is using the "save the children" argument. Give me a break. What youngster is going to waste his allowance on a sixer of Seagrams Coolers when a 30-pack of the Beast is just a few bucks more? Kiddos who want to drink may not have such advanced palates, but they aren't stupid. They understand value pricing. (If you want to call that value.)

No comments: