Best. Race. Photo. Ever.

Look, I know nobody is out there anymore, but I just had to share this somewhere. I've been running for 18 years, I'm slower than ever, I just entered the 45-49 age group, I'm dealing with poison ivy on both ankles, I took 10 days off before my two "training" runs prior to race day — clearly, I'm not at peak Viper condition — but still, this is the greatest race photo I've ever had. Just look at that guy's face after he sees I've passed him at the finish line. 

And just so you don't think I'm only here to race shame some poor stranger, you should know he got the last laugh. He must have started way behind me, because his chip time was still faster than mine by 17 seconds. He had just passed me right before the final turn, and that made me mad. No matter how slow I get, I can't quell my competitive urges during a race. I kept the puke threshold at bay. I beat him to the timing mat. My celebration beer was Weihenstephaner Festbier. And hey, I guess this constitutes an age group PR, score! 

If any of my runblogging friends are still out there, I wish you well. Hello and goodbye again!

Review: Xero Shoes Prio

My first run of the year!

I've been a proponent of minimalist running footwear for the last eight years or so, and yet I had never found the perfect shoe that provided my ideal combination of a flat, flexible sole with excellent ground feel.

With the Prio, Xero Shoes has done it. This is what I've been waiting for all this time. The Prio have a zero-drop sole for a breathable active-wear shoe that can be rolled up like a chimichanga. The lacing is adjustable for a custom fit around the arch and heel. The toebox is extra wide to all those little digits to flex and move as if you were barefoot.

If you are familiar with Xero Shoes' sandals, I recommend sizing up a half to a full size to accommodate the enclosed toe (e.g., I wear an 11 in the Z-Trails and ordered a 12 for the Prio). In comparison to other manufacturers, I typically wear an 11.5 for running shoes. However, Xero Shoes has comprehensive sizing guide to get you the right fit.

In just a few days of constant wear, which included a run, I am already convinced these are THE shoe for runners interested in minimal footwear. The shoes arrived the day before I was set to leave for Houston on a business trip. I wore them non-stop, from running through airports, a short run around downtown and through a convention center expo hall. The Prios passed all tests with flying colors.

[Editor's note: Yeah, I'm just here for the free shoes. Xero Shoes provided the shoes, and I supplied my own opinion. I really am excited about these, though.]

Reflective lacing system!

Look good with jeans too. 

Review: Umara Z-Trail by Xero Shoes

The day I went for my first run since September last year I got an email from Steven Sashen. You may remember him from such memorable posts as “Almost Nearly Barefoot” and “Review: Invisible Shoes (aka Commercially Made Hippy Shoes).”

What? More hippy shoes?

You might also remember Sashen from his 2013 appearance on the reality TV show “Shark Tank” where he turned down a $400,000 investment offer for his company Xero Shoes and has since seen sales climb to an expected $3 million this year, according to a March 5 article by Forbes. That’s a far cry from the rubber and string huaraches I reviewed four and half years ago.

Sashen’s email was offering me a free pair of his latest sports sandal, the trail-friendly Umara Z-Trail. It was early February, and I had literally just come back from my first run in months. I was feeling that wonderful optimism you get when make a plan and actually stick to it.

Flashback Friday: I'M BACK (No I'm Not)

What? Where am I? What year is this? Who has awoken me from my peaceful cryogenic sleep? Someone get me a fucking drink.

Hello, my name is Viper. It has been two years, two months and a day since my last post. Let's first dispel the idea that I'm returning. No. I am not. But let me tell you something, there will be one more post after this one. And it's going to be a crummy commercial.

I guess it's fitting that this post arrives while you're all recovering from your St. Patrick's Day hangovers. While you had kegs and eggs, I ate a green cookie for breakfast on my way to work.

This post is just to see if anyone still remembers me. You see, I still run another blog that you wouldn't stop midway through your routine three-miler to deposit two shits into that nasty portable toilet along the side of the running path to acknowledge the existence of this said other blog. Yet every time I log into the Blogger dashboard, two things bother me.

One is that my total posts to the Booze Hounds Inc. Running Team sits at 1,098. Two entries shy of a nice round 1,100. Make that ONE shy, now.

Second, you idiots still visit this long dormant site. As of this writing, there were 414 pageviews here last month. Dude, did you not realize it's been like 789 days since I last wrote anything about running or drinking? Come on! You're better than this.

There are other bloggers out there still producing what I assume is quality content. I wouldn't know because contrary to what I promised in my last post and because as you would totally expect I have not been keeping up with any of my old running blogger comrades. But still, just take a look at the handy list of overrated bloggers I've compiled down and to the right of the page. Those people just wrote something. I have not, except for this. And one other thing coming soon. But that's it. Find your blogging content elsewhere.

What's coming soon is an obligatory review of a product I just got for free because my clout as a blogger is still way bigger than yours even when I haven't written jackshit in forever. The last time I ran it was to catch up to my two-year-old during a walk around the block (testing said product in the process). Yeah, remember when the Viper family had a baby? He's a crazy toddler now. Time flies and makes you feel old as shit.

The only time I ever go for a proper run is when I have to travel for work. I thought things were really turning around last month when I managed three runs (two of which were when I was in Houston for a conference) and logged eight whole miles. I even started up a 2016 running log to track all my stats. I was averaging a tepid 12:37 per mile. I thought this is it. I'm back.

Yeah. No. Haven't run since February 11. Maybe I'll run more now that time has sprung ahead and there's more daylight after I get off work. You should probably hold your breath until that happens. Ready? Go!