Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Tighten Up

After work last night, with Mrs. Viper at work, I changed into my horrible gray sweatpants and a T-shirt and headed to the basement to begin my routine. Alternating between 10 repetitions of 20-lb. dumbbell curls and 30 hundred-ups, two sets of each, I got my heartbeat going.

My abdominal muscles were still sore from Sunday's body curls, but that didn't stop me from heading up to the attic for my remaining exercises, beginning with a series of combination planks. I finished my workout with two sets of chair dips and push-ups (10 reps each set), followed by 40 more hundred-ups (to actually reach 100).

I've become obsessed with tightening up my winter jiggles. I see the infomercials with those gimmicky exercise machines, like the Ab Rocket Twister or, my new favorite, The Rack, and I'm in danger of dialing that 1-800 number for a "risk free" 30-day trial offer.

Mrs. Viper is concerned about a package arriving any day now with some "as seen on TV" contraption that promises rock-hard abs and award-winning pectorals.

I envision my own personal airbrush booth in the basement so I can accent my "shredded" physique. I'm not even sure why shredded is the right adjective for a fit body, but that's what the celebrity personal trainer tells me. Man, I've got to tighten up.

Akron's own The Black Keys provide the soundtrack ...


Nitmos said...

Ever use a Flowbee? Those things are great for the hair but, admittedly, not much for the abs. Tried a pocket fisherman?

misszippy said...

With all the contraptions out there today, the possibilities are endless! But maybe old-fashioned planks, ab work are the way to go? Either way, the Black Keys are a good motivator for it.

C said...

Little early for your mid-life crisis, isn't it?

Ironman By Thirty said...

How about a shake weight?

B. Jarosz said...

I don't get the "shredded" thing, either.

I second the shake weight, but ONLY if you post pictures. (Which, I presume, means no shake weight.)